Mission Mission

Looks delicious and thirst-quenching, right? Like a south-of-the-border Acai-Blueberry Vitamin Water, right?

Wrong! It’s some kind of household cleaning product, which would explain why it’s shelved next to other household cleaning products:

Don’t drink it!

But seriously, this packaging is even more misleading than Four Loko’s packaging.

Welp, the Mission’s best-kept foodie secret is out.

I loved Popeye’s when it was more underground, but I won’t be able to deal with the crowds now. At least the McDonalds on 24th St. is still untainted. Although, who knows how long that will last.

Get the full scoop and video at Mission Loc@l.

Aww, look how good it looks! I look at this picture by Shelley P. (and do blow it up so’s you can see the rest of the loaf) and I ache for this bread to be in my mouth.

The other day I was at Rhea’s and ordered an avocado-and-cheese sandwich on Tartine bread (that’s right, Rhea’s stocks Tartine bread so’s you don’t have to stand in line at Tartine to enjoy Tartine bread), but they were all out! I was so bummed! The other bread was good too, but it was no Tartine bread.

Tartine bread.

With all the heat Four Loko has been getting lately, it’s obviously only a matter of time before it winds up in court and dies the same death suffered by its spiritual predecessor, Sparks.  Fortunately, back when that former caffienated malt liquor titan was litigiously forced off the scene, our pal Stephen was already on top of a game-changing beverage innovation that has so far escaped public scrutiny. 

Behold, REDWEISER.  One-fourth Red Bull and three-fourths Budweiser, this is one energy alcohol that won’t be banned from stores anytime soon.  Your grandkids will probably be drinking it.  But not Ariel’s.

Forget baseball, this is the face-off we really care about.

Miguel and Victor Escobedo of Papalote went head-to-head with Bobby Flay on his show, Throwdown, back in February. Papalote’s award winning “Triple Threat” burrito was put up against Bobby’s “Green Burrito” (demonstrating Flay’s expert knowledge of how to appeal to San Franciscans).

If you’ve been keeping up with this sort of thing you already know who won, but we wont spoil it for you. The whole episode is on Hulu now. They both stay pretty gracious throughout, but things almost get out of hand when the Escobedo bros lead a “GRINGO” chant against their competitor. See if you can stomach the cheesy stock music and 3-second cuts long enough to see who came out the winner.

Here’s the link.

Thanks to Sally Kuchar from Curbed SF.

I totally forgot to post this earlier, but in case you’re on you’re killing time on your iPhone in line at Boogaloos, why not cross your name off the list and head down the street to Porto Franco Art Parlor for their monthly Klezmer brunch? For 6 bucks, you get a kick-ass vegetarian Ashkenazi and Sephardic traditional dishes with a bit of a Russian tinge. Plus, no line.

And you get to see some awesome live Klezmer music courtesy of the Gonifs, featuring members of the Cottontails, Rupa and the April Fishes, and Brass Menazeri.

Porto Franco is in a Victorian flat at 953 Valencia between 20th and 21st. They go until 2pm. If you miss this one, they do this every last Sunday of the month.

Of course, Mountain View. No one throws away half eaten burritos here.

[via Dangerous Minds]

This oddly menacing guy is scrawled on the trash bin in the men’s room at Beretta. Why would someone vandalize Beretta? Perhaps the vandal, like me, was upset to find the Improved Whiskey Cocktail no longer officially on the menu. Sure you can still order it, but how will future generations even know it exists?

Next time you’re at Foreign Cinema, try the “Tiny Chicken Sandwich with a ‘side’ of fries.” It goes great with the I.G.F.

Update: “Infamous Gin Fizz.” Doye.

Man, remember when this place was cool?

[via Blair C.]