Mission Mission

Because of The Wire, am I right?

Photo by Orin Zebest.

Previously:

Re-Elect Clay Davis

We sure didn’t. SF Weekly has the scoop, buried in some kind of article about Muni budget woes or something.

So, what kind of fun should we have with this?

(Thanks to Ani for the tip! And the title, sort of!)

Photo by Matt Baume.

We hope it wasn’t anything like when that dick cabbie robbed our friend and left her for dead (allegedly) a couple years back.

In any case, it happened “late last night” and already you’ve printed up this gorgeous banner and had it expertly mounted? You’re a wonder!

Photo by EPA and around the bay.

4505 Meats has a new line of “Spiritual T-Shirts” out and they would like to give you one FOR FREE.

All you have to do is tell us your best meat-related tale in the comments section below.  Maybe you invented the coffee-rubbed pork shoulder. Maybe you traded your wife for a bacon-wrapped hot dog. Maybe a side of beef kilt your paw. Whatever it may be, share it below.

4505 Meats honcho and all-around MEAT CELEBRITY Ryan Farr will be in charge of judging. One winner will be chosen, based on merit, and awarded the t-shirt of his or her choice, in whatever size she or he wants. Contest ends one week from right now.

(Now, we don’t want to discriminate, so if any of you vegetarians or whatever write in with a truly earth-shattering piece about your love of Boca Burgers or Tofu Pups or Buffalo Girls, we will try to at the very least get Ryan to read it all the way through.)

Oh, and if you’d rather just BUY yourself a t-shirt (they’re American Apparel, btw) RIGHT NOW, visit the 4505 Meats Shop.

[P.S. The winner of our previous contest was the guy that saw Radiohead with Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer. Congrats, guy!]

Previously: (some links may not be safe for vegans)

Swine So Fine: I Love Chicharrones

How To Make Cured Rolled Pig Face

Start By Cutting the Rabbit’s Face Off

Our occasional correspondent Sunny Angulo was on the scene for the opening of a new retail shop here in the Mission last week, and today she delivered us a nice big rundown of how it went, and a fabulous photo spread to boot. When I saw it all, I said to her, “I hope Benny kicked you down some free shit,” and she says to me, she says, “Like what? A belt buckle? Fool needs to get some hot lady tees up in there.” (Apparently the shop caters mostly to us dudes.)

Anyway, it’s a nice piece. Thanks, Sunny. Here’s how it starts:

Taco truck: check. Guys taking photos of each other popping ollies out front: check. DJ wearing sunglasses indoors: check. A trunkload of donated Pabst: check. Must be a skate opening. The line started before 10:00 am in the morning and snaked down the block this past Saturday, when Benny Gold brought his youthful message of growing old while still staying gold to the Mission.

Read on:

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Hops up on a stool, says to the bartender, “Hey, I can talk. You ever seen a talking dog before? Lemme have a gewurztraminer.”

Photo by anthonysanfrancisco.

Some dude tried to mug my friend Tracy last Monday night on the corner of 18th and Mission. She was standing near Yamo waiting to catch the 33 at about 10:30pm. She was checking the bus schedule on her iPhone when she noticed out of the corner of her eye a figure coming toward her in a deliberate fashion. She gripped her phone tighter.

With two hands, the man tried to grab it, but Tracy had it firmly and pulled away. She was repeating, “No,” and looking him in the eye. He looked down at her purse, which she had slung over her shoulder and around her torso, and then back at her face. She waited for him to act. She held her phone tight, and that purse wasn’t going anywhere.

In frustration, the man punched the purse, and walked away.

Tracy thinks that by making eye contact and keeping calm, she freaked the dude out. And she says that if she hadn’t been aware of her surroundings, he might easily have snatched the phone and been gone in a flash.

Here’s something else Tracy was aware of: There were people all around. Lots of people: Waiting for the bus, walking by. There was a woman right behind her talking on her phone. Nobody said or did anything.

The lessons? Always be aware of your surroundings, stay calm, and don’t necessarily count on the kindness of strangers. (Although, it’s possible the presence of all those people might have kept the dude from going to greater lengths to acquire Tracy’s riches. So maybe another lesson is thank goodness Mission sidewalks are always packed with people.)

Photo by GrimReynard.

Haroldinho spotted this arrangement near Dolores Park. It’s different than the last arrangement we saw, but not too different. Has anyone seen any gnarlier stacks?

Rhiannon brags:

I’ve managed, with my superior skill, to convince Alex at Rodger’s Coffee, which serves delicious coffees AS WELL AS Strauss Organic Ice Cream (none of this yogurt hooha) to make me coffee milkshakes, by pouring the hot espresso into ice cream in a plastic togo cup, then stirring it until perfect, and adding a bit of milk.

It’s called “The Rhiannon Special”.

(link)

Previously:

Your Milkshake Would Bring All the Boys to the Yard

Off-Menu Ordering in the Mission

Penelope Popsicle delivers the answer.

Previously:

Talking to the Prostitutes