Mission Mission

Ryan Farr of 4505 Meats finally picked a winner in our meat-related-story contest! It’s Melanie K! Here’s her story:

Easy. I’ve been a vegetarian for fourteen years, but every time my friend Alli and I get drunk at Elixir (which is less and less now, thank you douchebags) she tries to shove chicharrones down my throat. She has actually held them to my lips, gently applying pressure, while simultaneously carrying on a conversation with a group of new friends, because, as far as her logic goes, I will have to open my mouth sometimes.

Yes, we turn into eight-year-olds when we drink.

Anyway, I recently decided to give in and eat the meat, although slowly so I don’t puke and poop at the same time. I have had a few bites of prosciutto here and there, and the other night I stepped into Elixir (filled with d-bags, to the brim), and Alli was there. She looked H-A-P-P-Y-D-R-U-N-K and exclaimed, “Close your eyes and open your mouth!”

Read on!

Photo by pyrogenic.

Have you found yourself munching on stale chips and too-hot green salsa at Taqueria Cancun 3 times in a week due to lack of a better late night Mission food option?

Next time, check out La Oaxaqueña, the easy-to-miss small bakery on Clarion and Mission. They are open until 2 am (!), it’s rarely crowded, and the food is amazing. The selection is a lot more exotic than what you’ll find at Cancun or Farolito, with papusas, tamales, mole, and even grasshopper.

The banana leaf mole tamale is less than 4 bucks and it’s probably the best tamale I’ve ever had. It’s not just the awesome mole and the well seasoned chicken that does it. The masa (that corn stuff that makes up 70% of a tamale) is so tasty that I find myself scraping all the little bits of it off the folds of the leaf so I don’t waste any.

This is old news to a lot of you, but since eating there at 12:30am Tuesday, I really can’t stop thinking about how thankful I am that they are there.

[photo by angefasu]

When I walk by Andalu, it doesn’t invite me in. It’s one of those places in the neighborhood that just feels too new and too upscale. When I walk in I feel a little out of place. But wait, apparently it did invite me in, because here I am, on last Sunday, ordering brunch. The thing is, I really like eggs benedict. Sometimes when I’m hungry I’ll browse the Flickr pool. But it’s not easy to make at home and it’s not especially cheap. Especially at Pork Store, which is the nearest eggsbenedicteria to my home.

At Pork Store I have to shell out something like $13 for the dish and, sure, it comes with coffee and juice, but I don’t always want all that liquid. (their online menu says that the benedict is $8.95, but maybe that’s only at the Haight Street location, or I’m just plain wrong) Plus, there’re the lines and the scene (which is maybe a plus and a minus?) and the quality, which is just so-so, but what they don’t have in quality is definitely made up for in bigness.

Boogaloos also has the lines and the scene, their benedict is great, but also 5¢ more expensive than Andalu, and comes with fruit or hashbrowns, not both.

Valencia Pizza & Pasta has a pretty good and very filling benedict, and there usually isn’t much of a wait or a scene there. Plus you get a whole orange.

I had the eggs florentine at Weird Fish once, it was good, but smothered in sauce.

At Andalu the benedict is $9.95 (pictured above) and is delicious. The eggs were cooked into little orbs that squirted their warm yellow yolk all over the place when popped. Which is a good thing, I think. And the polenta fries (not pictured, we got those with the french toast, which was also very good, but I’m not talking about that) were great dipped into the hollandaise. The only downside to the food was that I was still a little hungry afterwards.

So, what do you think? Eggs benedict – overhyped? Is there a better spot in the neighborhood (under $10) that I left out? Or should I just eat at home more?

At Bender’s current market prices, anyway. Consumerist reports that Pabst was recently bought for $250 million.

The reported buyer of the brewer — the #5 suds supplier in the U.S. — is C. Dean Metropoulos, who has made his name managing big-time brands like Bumble Bee Tuna, Vlasic Pickles, Chef Boyardee, Duncan Hines and Ghirardelli Chocolates.

I can’t wait to see the sample recipes that will start showing up on the boxes!

[Thanks Kat Malinowska, photo by Jai Yung]

Previously:

Don’t Drink Rapaciously Evil Corporate Beer

Tablehopper reports that Valencia Street’s Zaytoon (the restaurant with a gestational period resembling that of an elephant) is set to open next Tuesday.

Groundhog Day

What will we see in this former Rub’ al Khali?

This casual Mediterranean place from owner Christopher Totah will serve falafel wrapped in lavash ($6.95, or $7.95 with potatoes and eggplant); chicken or lamb shwarma ($7.95)—the meat will reportedly be “natural” but not organic…

Er, halal?

It’s due to open on Tuesday June 1st but call first before heading over—delays could still occur.

Any bets?

While it might not have all the chuptzah of the new Bay Citizen community news experiment, the masters of Mediterranean dining at Old Jerusalem nonetheless have a website that refuses to be left out of the discussion.  Not content to merely the hold the title for Best Falafel in the Mission (according to vegansaurus!), they also appear to pursuing the award for Spiffiest-Looking Restaurant Website.

Not only does it play scientific sounding beeps and boops whenever you mouse-over various icons, but a video demonstration by a mildly attractive virtual tour guide instantly materializes to walk you through the various features, ensuring you don’t get caught on the wrong side of the checkpoints.  Of course, the discerning veiewer sees through all this pomp and circumstance to the generic interface overlaid with OJ graphics, but you still have them an A for effort.

Does anyone have any other favorite Mission restaurants or local businesses with hilariously incongruent websites?

[Link, thanks Travis!]

Previously:

Hands Down the Best Falafel in the Mission

Something is Going on in Zaytoon

Carlos Reyes has the scoop.

Previously:

Human Trafficking Ring Exposed in Dolores Park

I’ve been seriously jonesing for a pulled pork BBQ sandwich for the past few weeks, and today what do I see (and smell) at Alemany Farmer’s Market but the Good Foods Bay Area Urban BBQ tent.

Their pulled pork sandwich was very much awesome:

And the salmon burger ALSO was worthy. (I have been bitterly disappointed by salmon burgers at other lesser establishments in the past).

While I didn’t get one, the “New BLT” was being seemingly ordered by everyone other person, so I’d certainly gamble on it.

So it’s no wonder they won the SF Weekly “Best Roaming BBQ” competition.

“Ball, who’s cooked at Delfina, Spork, Contigo, and Google, told SFoodie that this pillowy and tender offering is smoked for eight hours and cooked for an additional six, equaling 14 hours of love you can taste.”

More SF Weekly Dontaye Ball BBQ coverage here.

But there’s even better news for lovers of billowy and tender offerings — Dontaye and company will be at the Bayview Sunday Streets on 3rd St tomorrow. Just look for these SF Weekly and SF Food Wars award winners (silver pig and golden statuette may or may not be present):

And like any roaming food dispensary, he’s also on Twitter.

Our buddy Alexandra Sheehan is on the scene at the neighborhood’s hottest new Venezuelan spot:

DUDE! Pica Pica is esuper en vogue! Gent on the end none other than Project Runway alumn (Season 2) Nick Verreos! He was well coiffed and walked out in an impeccably tailored — arepa stain free– trench. I can’t believe I recognized him.

See him?

Thanks, Al!

Cheese-filled corn tortillas give reader Rian O. “major bonerpants” (his words), so he’s chronicling all his Mission pupusa dining experiences on his blog: riproarious. Scattered throughout these lengthy reviews are some deep philosophical questions, like this example of the Hipster Paradox:

When I see a hipster doofus like me at the counter, I get genuinely pissed. “Back off!” I whisper under my breath while starring into my iPhone. “Our kind will be the ruin of this place.”

These establishments are getting full writeups and a rating of 1-4 “Dios Mios” (rough translation: OMGs!).

Go ahead and tell him how much you disagree and how you’ve been backpacking in El Salvador so you know what’s up.