Mission Mission

The boys like it

[via Ariel on Facebook]

Poor lil guys. Help Theo out?

[via flyering]

Local sketch troupe Mission CTRL (part of the PianoFight family) debuted their latest show “Innovate or Die” during SF Sketchfest last month, and it went over so well they decided to bring it back for a pair of dates right here in the Mission. Here’s the rundown:

Mission CTRL is answering a question you didn’t even have the balls to ask! That’s right—we’re bringing back our sold-out SF Sketchfest show, “Innovate or Die!” Two nights only (March 6/7) at Zbelow, featuring some heavily funny guests: musical comedy from Imaginary Radio and stand up from Stroy Moyd (March 6) and Caitlin Gill (March 7).

This crew is great at what they do, as we know from having laughed our asses off at their poker-playing Minotaur bit and their summer blockbuster about murderous ducks. Get tickets and more info here.

And watch this short for a taste:

[via The Fog Bender]

My old college friends are mopping up on Wall Street. The only mopping I'm doing is mopping up the floors of women's restrooms on Van Ness.

— David Enos (@davidenos) January 25, 2014

All my friends are married and own dogs. The only dogs I know are the haggard men that chase me up Van Ness asking, "Dollar for BART, dog?"

— David Enos (@davidenos) January 25, 2014

Everybody's buying a house these days. The only house I'm buying is a $249.00 DVD set of the complete third season of Fox's "House".

— David Enos (@davidenos) January 25, 2014

Everybody gets their shoes polished on Van Ness. The only "Polishing" I'm doing on Van Ness is polishing off a Tommy's Joynt meatball sub.

— David Enos (@davidenos) January 25, 2014

Why David isn’t headlining Sketchfest this year I will never know.

[Photo by Why I Don't Skateboard via Bad Kids]

I’m Jewish by birth, but I’ve never been completely sure what that means. I found this new video from our buddy Dan Wolf and the JCCSF’s 3200 Stories featuring Josh Healey to be pretty helpful and hilarious:

Happy almost Hanukkah!

Comedian Chris Garcia, who once did a standup act almost entirely about the Mission, was on last week’s This American Life! Check it out:

Chris Garcia and his dad were driving home, listening to oldies, sharing a bag of chips. A totally familiar scene for them. They’d driven this route probably hundreds of time, but something odd was happening in the car, so Chris started recording their conversation on his phone. He tells producer Nancy Updike what happened.

Well done, Chris! Listen here.

Also, Chris headlines at Punchline here in SF on December 4th. Get tickets (and see what Robin Williams has to say about him) here.

Found unattended on a parked car. Hmmm…cop trap? #ReverseEntrapment pic.twitter.com/S5D0iJK58l

— Palo Alto Police (@PaloAltoPolice) October 9, 2013

Whadda ya think? Anyone want to get this idea kick-started with me? Maybe it qualifies as bespoke. We could market to the dudes in line to get the haircuts on 18th and Guerrero, they’ll spend money on anything. Hats might not be as cool as mustaches (yet), but at least it’s not more ridiculous looking.