Mission Mission

Mission Boyfriends, an examination of what it’s like dating dudes here in the neighborhood, is advising women not to overlook certain red flags:

Here is a list of red flags that I chose to overlook. Bad choice.

- Whilst fucking he said “I don’t want to get you pregnant…at least not right now”

- When I asked him what kinda kinky shit he was into (hinting at something we could do together) he responded with : “well, ive always been into Asians. Then I got into pregnant chicks. Then I got into pregnant Asians, and then I got into trannys.”

Hmm. Read on to see how our heroine chose to deal with this situation.

[Photo by Jason Yim]

In what could prove to be a serious shake-up in the SF food scene, Mission Chinese Food may today become the place to be not only for the gnarliest Chinese in the city — but possibly the most bomb barbecue as well. They imported a special smoker all the way from the dirty south, they perfected some recipes, and the new menu debuts tonight!

SFoodie tells us all about it:

It’s got barbecue, all right, marked “Chinese”: smoked beef brisket, pulled pork trotters, Xi’an lamb cheeks. All served with smoked Cola BBQ sauce, pickles, and white bread ― uh, Chinese-style maybe? There’s also kung pao corned beef (not sure if that’s the same as the kung pao pastrami Bowien described in an e-mail as “fucking amazing.”)

That sounds pretty good. Read on.

I haven’t decided yet whether this is just for looks, or if it’s a signal, ala the bandanas in Cruising. Like, if Matthew Broderick is peeking out your right rear pocket, it means you want a kiss from Daddy?

[Photo by Hopped Up]

An ongoing search for the oddest thing to be locked up on the sidewalk.

These are just a couple screenshots from an epic short film shot I think today by “steeeevey T” of TCB and Stortstrots. He starts in the Mission and winds his way downtown.

Watch the whole movie here, for the soundtrack if not the rad visuals.

Louise overheard a cute phone conversation at Atlas Cafe today. She was so tickled, she transcribed the whole thing:

You’re coming apart at the seams, man.  You gotta friend me on Facebook again. Yeah, let’s be friends again, because you got a lotta work ahead of you.  You gotta put all those photos online, man. I’m gonna have lunch with your mom this week.  Maybe you could stop by.  Yeah, in the rain.  Ain’t that aboutta bitch?  And there’s a great Balkan party this weekend, so clear your schedule for that.  The girls are crazy over there.

Phone calls sure sound weird when you only hear one side, right? Read on for a geography lesson and more Facebook talk.

And while you’re at it, like us on Facebook if you haven’t already.

Previously:

• Atlas Cafe home of the best veggie sandwich in town?

Tipster Todd of Telstar Logistics knows not very much:

A friend just texted to say the Feds are raiding a home on Bryant, between 22nd and 23rd. No more info.

What’s crackin’? Imma go take a look.

UPDATE: I didn’t see nothin’.

It’s hanging out across from the Lex at 19th and Valencia if anyone wants to go throw a brat on.

Allen Price sent us his latest video for the band Square Dance which takes place in the Mission.

The video is as weird as the song. I’m not sure how to describe it. It’s like the Shaggs meets Yo-Yo Ma or something. Does that make sense? Not really.

On an unrelated note, it has occurred to me that singer Mira Cook is also a classically trained ballerina, so she probably has an informed opinion about Natalie Portman’s academy award winning performance in Black Swan.

David is in Mermaid Bones, a band named after the secret ingredient in Clearasil.

He wants to give you, reader, two VIP guest list spots for his show at the glamorous El Rio bar this Saturday. This means you get into this girl-themed show for free, get to hang out with the bands “backstage” (aka that weird alley between the main bar and the show room where you put your drums between sets), and can play shuffleboard against the winner of the last game if you pay for the next round.

Ok, so you could do most of those things anyway. But still, free show.

Here’s the scoop:

My band, Mermaid Bones, is playing a show at El Rio this Saturday with Girls with Guns and Go Going Gone Girls. It’s gonna be the cat’s meow. Anyhoo, here’s an idea: could we have a contest on yer blog – best autobiographical story about almost drowning wins 2 spots on the guest list for the show…. whatdyathink? Here’s a link to the Facebook event.

So just leave a comment with your story about almost drowning and a real email address, David will pick the winner this Friday, and he’ll hook you up. It’s that easy.