Mission Mission

Sometimes “For a good time, call…” graffiti isn’t specific enough. What kind of “good time” are we talking about? The secret location of a warehouse with a ball pit?

“Free Beer” is the kind of good time we can all appreciate. I’m not sure how this transaction will be carried out, though. Delivery or pickup? Will you be shuffled into a conference room and forced to watch a DVD on Lake Tahoe timeshares?

[snapped at 24th and Valencia by pwacher]

Now you can show everyone what you think is the best pizza in San Francisco when you wear your new Arinell hat and t-shirt with pride!  Trucker hats are only six dollars!  Rumor has it that Steve Jobs already has one . . .

Also, can we finally put that whole “Arinell’s” nonsense to rest?  There’s no apostrophe, folks.  Recognize.

Previously:

Kink.com at Arinell (NSFW)

Dude, CRAB BUNS.

In case you ever do find yourself in SF’s Chinatown, Golden Gate Bakery is where it’s at. Not only do they make adorable baked goods such as this, they are known for the best egg tarts in the bay. Follow the long line of Cantonese ladies.

[via calwong]

Reader tackyy noticed this telling notice in the window at Puerto Allegre this evening. Seems they’re expanding, and what with the Bombay Creamery space now vacant right next door, common sense says that’s a-where they’re going. Dang, what a mashup. If only. If only we could get fig ice cream cones with baskets of chips and pitchers of margs.

Thanks, tackyy!

Seriously! You’re all over it! There better not be rivets on your denim! What? Was that a dry heave? OMG get away from my ride!

P.S. Totally kidding. No way would I drive a Honda, or whatever that is.

This week, Mission Mission brings you a recap of the top 5 posts of 2010. Can you guess the number one post of the year?

If you guessed BART Boner, then you’re wrong! That was posted in 2008 so it doesn’t count. Although, admittedly it’s still up there. Probably because we make way too many off-hand jokes re-linking it. We really should stop doing that. After this post, I mean.

5. FDA to ban Four Loko Nationwide

It used to be at every corner store, now you can only find it in the stockpile under Andrew Sarkarati’s coffee table. Four Loko became national sensation among party people in 2010. Why? It was cheap, first of all. In this economy we all need to cut corners wherever we can. It was also ironic, which is apparently an excellent reason to do anything this year. Perhaps most importantly, it’s loaded with alcohol. This malt beverage contains about twice the alcohol as your typical brew-dog and had a flavor that can only be described as carbonated liquified jello shots.

So why is the government and media being such a drag, man? The stuff is a allegedly marketed to kids. Check out all those fruity flavors and colorful packaging! They might as well serve that swill out of foil-lined bags like Capri Sun. Our own Ariel Dovas even saw the a youngster going loco over Loko on MUNI. The idea of kid-friendly alcoholic beverages isn’t exactly anything new. When I was a young pup trying to fit in, I thought beer was totally gross. The solution? Zima. Dizgusting.

So farewell to Four Loko, we hardly knew you. Say hi to Sparks for us in drinky heaven.

4. Spurned Scenester Sullies Sightly Street Art

Local tagger KKKatie is no stranger to controversy, what with the whole scribbling quasi-racist stuff on public and private property. She also apparently doesn’t care much for our 25th president William McKinley. That is, like, so anti-American.

This year she drew the most ire in the Mission when she enhanced a Chris Lux mural with her own artistic vision inspired by what you might see scrawled on the door of a high school bathroom stall. Apparently there was some kind of beef between the two. The mural was restored in one day, but still, this marked the beginning of the end for KKKatie. She was condemned by the street art community and her friends. Finally, at Bay to Breakers, she was caught allegedly spray painting on a dude and threatening to accuse him of rape if he did anything about it. In the end, she was acquitted of any actual hate crime charges, but got slapped with 11 counts of vandalism.

Of course, as with anyone you put in the spotlight for a bit, KKKatie has her fans, crediting her as some kind of disutopian, punk-rock folk hero. But most of us think she’s more likely a chemically imbalanced young lady off her meds. I suppose only she (and perhaps her lawyer) knows for sure.

Merry Christmas to Philz!

The priciest cup in the Mission just got pricier. Starting January 1st, a cup will set you back 25 more cents, while a pound will cost an extra buck. Hey, they’ve got to offset the cost of the cocaine they sprinkle into each scoop somehow.

Jacob Jaber invites you to email him directly if you have questions or concerns at jacobjaber at philzcoffee dot com where you will likely get the autoreply of, ”It’s the economy, guys.”

Head over to anthonybrown’s Flickr for the scoop.

Bernalwood delivers the bad news:

Mission Chinese Food, the area’s most amazing Chinese restaurant (within a Chinese restaurant), is closed until Sunday, December 26.

Read on for further commentary and possible alternatives.

(FYI, Broke-Ass Stuart suggests R&G Lounge.)

3 SECONDS

Although well tempered to their natural environs, Pauline’s gourmet pizza pies were annihilated within seconds of leaving the womb during their 25th anniversary free pizza party this week. A freezing frenzy of pizza predators descended upon them, and as the video shows it wasn’t a pretty sight. The staff cranked out upwards of 300 pies over 3 hours – four times the average order for a Tuesday evening. Bravo, Pauline’s!

It had been on suicide watch since around April, but now the Mission’s only supermarket (is Duc Loi a supermarket? That’s a whole other debate–not helped by an 8pm closing time) appears to be gone for good.  Sure, the prices were atrocious, and the selection wasn’t great, but it was open late (a great boon for folks who didn’t finish up their busy days until 10pm) and the staff was exceedingly friendly.  What will happen to that charming security guard?

Now we are left with the question of what to do with the massive industrial husk left over on South Van Ness.  Do we try to get Trader Joe’s to move in (they are having trouble securing that Market Street location).  Finally move forward with that Peace Park in the parking lot?

What do you think?

Previously:

Not a Very Happy Thanksgiving for DeLano’s Market Employees

Scenes from The Final Days of Delano’s