Mission Mission

“Two students speaking to a group of visitors at Mission High School” Dec. 1970

(Source: SF Public Library Historical Photo Archive)

Ok, I see what they’re trying to do here, and the intention is quite honorable.  Devoting front page space to a celebration of educational achievement is definitely commendable.

However, is it really necessary to force the poor person who hands out these free papers to wear a graduate cap and gown???  I’ll go out on a limb and assume that one of the primary reasons why this person has a crappy job like this is that they did not have the same advantages while growing up as the professionals who dismissively ignore their hand-off at the top of the BART escalator every morning. 

To rub it in by sticking them in a cap and gown when in all likelihood they never even had the opportunity to graduate, forcing them to endure the irony while being scornfully rebuffed by every young professional who ascends the stairs?

SF Examiner, you’re better than that.

Previously:

Mission Day Laborers Rock

Cheese-filled corn tortillas give reader Rian O. “major bonerpants” (his words), so he’s chronicling all his Mission pupusa dining experiences on his blog: riproarious. Scattered throughout these lengthy reviews are some deep philosophical questions, like this example of the Hipster Paradox:

When I see a hipster doofus like me at the counter, I get genuinely pissed. “Back off!” I whisper under my breath while starring into my iPhone. “Our kind will be the ruin of this place.”

These establishments are getting full writeups and a rating of 1-4 “Dios Mios” (rough translation: OMGs!).

Go ahead and tell him how much you disagree and how you’ve been backpacking in El Salvador so you know what’s up.

Wikipedia says it’s also known as “square ball.” What?

Anyway, I don’t know what this makes me more nostalgic for: actual four square in grade school (Were “ice creams” a real thing?) or my series of brilliant fake Foursquare updates last summer.

Hey, can you check into a Dolores Park four square game on Foursquare?

Anybody want to start a startup with me called SquareBall? It’ll be better than Foursquare, but then they’ll have to acquire us or something and then we can retire and spend our days playing square ball.

Who misses Dodgeball? I mean dodgeball.

Photo by Sean SD.

P.S. Is four square fun as an adult?

Previously:

KKKatie BBBusted!

Outgoing Mission Local reporter Armand Emamdjomeh’s beard is just one of many fine beards you can appraise at the brand-new facial-hair-ranking site Rate My Whiskers. Get on it!

Previously:

Armand and Sunny at an Art Opening

[via Smashenger] [Thanks, Meli!]

Related:

Precocious Parallel Parker

The angry young lady that defaced that Chris Lux mural and a wall near 20th and Valencia was caught in the act during Bay To Breakers this weekend after she allegedly bit a police officer and tried to spray paint a dude.

Katherine “KKKatie” Dunbar now faces a double-whammy of vandalism and hate crime charges. Bummer for all her apparent fans on MM. Count me out of those, though. I only support Brangelina-approved street art.

Full scoop on SFAppeal.

Previously:

Spurned Scenester Sullies Sightly Street Art

Fuck Quiet! B Loud! Know ur Enemy!

As part of their neighborhoods issue, Good Magazine hired Volume Inc. to design some neighborhood flags. Here’s what they came up with for the Mission:

Bikes and tacos! Clearly these guys are thinking OUTSIDE OF THE BOX!

Personally, I think they should have consulted us for a flag design consisting of scenes from the Mission Mission top posts of all time. Who wouldn’t want a flag of a lady shitting on her house while a scantly clad woman struts down the street drinking moderately-priced Kombucha and a BART train speeds by in the background (passenger with a visible boner in window)?

Oh, and this flag would never fly from a pole, it would always be presented draped over a life-size marble rendering of Sasha Grey.

See the rest of the series (mostly not-SF) neighborhood flags here.

Thanks Elizabeth S.!

At $4 a pack, they’re competitive with LEE’S up the street, but they taste so delicious!  The shrimp is lightly seasoned to subtly augment the flavor while the lettuce, noodles, and rice paper impress with their freshness.  I only tried a package with the peanut sauce (which was fantastic, BTW), so no verdict yet on the delectableness of the fish sauce.

When is someone in the Mission going to get their act together and open a banh mi shop?

Previously:

Inside the Banh Mi Cart Test Kitchen

Banh Mi by Mai

Snacking on Cushman Banh Mi