Mission Mission

I always hit up Taqueria Vallarta after a show at Blue Six. The $1.50 taco bar is second to none. They fry up all the meats simultaneously in a loosely-partitioned circular grill that I affectionately call “Noah’s Ark”.

It’s a beautiful thing: you order with the man behind the grill, he loads up some tacos, you pay some tired guy wearing a change apron, and you pile on as much cilantro as you can handle. Hey La Taqueria: take note. $3.50 for a taco is ROBBERY.

Anyway, last time somebody told me to check out the mural while I was there. Ok, I thought, probably just another busty Aztec babe fetching a vase of water while a menacing conquistador stares on. Nope, try ill-proportioned 49ers playing football under the Golden Gate Bridge with the dolphins.

Then there’s more: the artist took it upon himself to write a rambling narrative about the parallel-universe origins of San Francisco and how bitchin’ the 49ers are. Did you know that they have the “excitement of the bear”?

Anyone know the story behind this masterpiece? Some borracho repaying his debt to the owner? Another coded message to members of the New World Order? Best explanation gets a taco on me. These are high stakes, folks.

I was totally digging the winter air this morning riding my bike around town.  Dancing exhaust and cold ears; I even saw snow falling off the mud flaps of a semi.  Then I saw new construction at La Rondalla.  Snow then this?

So, is this place seriously about to reopen?  Anyone have the inside scoop?  I hope they don’t loose that hella cool padded door.

Got word that Vegan Virgin is finally opening next week.  Cool, I guess.  I mean, normally I’d be pretty pumped (burritos + vegan food) but I’m generally down on giving my money to crazy people. But maybe you are crazy, vegan, or apathetic–maybe a healthy combination of all traits–and generally don’t care about forcing ‘the help’ to join cults.  Sin carne, sin jamón, sin pollo, sin pescado, sin leche, sin queso, sin crema, por favor.

Pack your bags kids, cool has left the neighborhood.

Has this existed for months?  I’ve never noticed.  Today was the first time I came across LEOS HOTDOGS, an enterprise of CESAR ASCARRUNZ’s, in front of 24th St. BART.  Brand new? Has anyone tried this shit?

This situation, plus the  incoming Rosamunde situation, means many tubes of meat in the Mission come 2k10.  Prepare yourselves for the thrill ride of your lives.

Ooh!  Pic from everyday photos:

500 Club claims it opens at 6 a.m., but it’s not true.  Don’t try.

This photo makes me feel like I’m in a community swimming pool at 8 a.m. Wow.  Well done.

I went to Doc’s Clock tonight and there was some serious B&T action going on.  What’s the story with that place?  I’ve always loved it, but tonight, it seemed as though everyone had on tank tops and jeans and no one was drinking.  Buzzkill.

I had never been down to Clooney’s before but commenters constantly mentioned this as potentially one of the diviest shitholes in the Mission.  Turns out it isn’t that shitty but a pretty badass spot.  There are no $2 cans of PBR but $2.25 Busch pints seem like a worthy replacement.  Bonus points for n’sync on the jukebox, free hot dog night (Vegans: call Clooney’s and demand Soy Pups!), an uncrowded pool table, a mini library (complete with legendary titles such as Star Trek: Possession and Gone with the Nerd), and the “I don’t give a fuck” attitude that you come to expect.  Best of all, the weekend warriors that bring down the quality of other Mission bars won’t come within striking distance of the place, so it can easily become the Mission’s cool kid refuge camp.

Clooney's Tavern: 1936

Found above the urinal

I know the Chronicle claimed they could not list a restaurant that “captured” the Mission, but merely two months ago they did just that:

Following are restaurants that capture the spirit of their locale:

Mission District

Range: Exceptional, frequently changing menu of New American food. Superb service and clever interior with intriguing use of industrial artifacts. 842 Valencia (near 20th Street); (415) 232-8283. Dinner nightly. (link)

Personally, I think that selection captures the driving force behind the Chronicle’s declining readership.

The Chronicle’s Michael Bauer posted an interesting idea this morning: that each neighborhood has a restaurant that captures its essence.  He encouraged readers to write in with suggestions… but prefaced that “if you live in the Mission, there are too many to list.”

Cop out!  Curious as to what you Missionites would pick.  I assume suggestions posted here will be less pretentious than any over at Between Meals, so by all means, comment.  And sure, KevMo, you can vote for Bender’s.

P.S.  La Rondalla photo by svanes.  Included because I love when you flap your gums about La Rondalla.

In celebration of and in donation to Food Not Bomb’s commitment to vegetarian food for the masses, Mission Street Food is serving a homage to pork!

Vegansaurus! savages them and their charitable givings in the commentary.