Mission Mission

At a bakery in Venice, California. Avocado, pickled Fresno chiles, greens and sprouts. $8, and it was gooood. (Converts to about $5.75 SF btw.)

You’ll need:

• 1 bag Trader Joe’s Baked Cheese Crunchies
• 1 jar Skippy Natural “Super Chunk” Peanut Butter
• 1 fork

Get a forkful of Skippy Natural. Stick a couple Baked Cheese Crunchies innit. Consume. Repeat. (It might also work with regular Skippy and your preferred variety of Cheetos and possibly a spoon, but I’m not sure.)

More recipes by me after the jump:

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Our pal Jess just sent in this dispatch from Brisbane, Australia. $9.50 for the toast, $5 for the iced coffee. But you don’t have to tip.

UPDATE: That’s $8.84 US btw

Thanks a lot, Chino fortune cookie. (Between this and the thought-shaming fortune they gave me a couple weeks back, I feel like they’re trying pretty hard to bum me out.)

Lunch @BrickMortarSF: $8 Rice Bowl: Ca Ri Ga/Chay, Ma Po Tofu, Banh Mi: Grilled Pork/Lemongrass Chicken, Sides: Tomato Salad + Corn

— Rice Paper Scissors (@ricepapersf) August 18, 2014

Okay, looks good!

(This was really just an excuse to post the above 3D animated GIF by Doc Pop, thanks all!)

(Okay probably not, but you better cross your fingaz!) (I mean, that’s a looong line.)

In no particular order:

1. The Devil Burger at St. Francis Fountain — I usually get it with bacon and cheddar, and sub real mayonnaise for the veganaise, but I bet it’s super good actually vegan too. Afterward, I feel like I ate an awesome burger. (Good fries and cold Anchor Steams too.) (I ate one of these last night and am still thinking about it, mmmmmm.)
2. Golden Beetloaf sandwich at Atlas Cafe — It has gouda and mayo, so it’s probably not vegan, but maybe it can be made vegan? I dunno. (If not, there are plenty of other good veggie sandwiches at this place that probably can be vegan?) Anyway, CLASSIC sandwich. It doesn’t really pretend to be a meat. It has a really special set of textures and a really special set of flavors all its own. I usually get it to go and grab some cheddar Popchips from Norm’s to accompany it in a picnic in my backyard.
3. The Vegan Burger at Mission Bowling Club — Definitely vegan, and I don’t even add bacon to it or anything. (Usually I go with a friend and split one of these and one real burger.) (The legendary Mission Burger, mmmm.) It’s legendary, and really good.
4. Satan’s Philly Cheese Fake at Bender’s — Can be made vegan with vegan dressing instead of cheese, but omgggg is it good with cheese. Better than most real Philly cheesesteak sandwiches, I’d say, and it comes with tots! Goes great with Death & Taxes btw.
5. The veggie sandwich of the day at Pal’s Take-Away (pictured) — When you want a big, expertly assembled pile of beautiful vegetables on some gorgeous fresh-baked bread, Pal’s is the place. There’s usually an egg on it, which is clutch, but you can ask for it without if you want. A+ sandwich. (Even if it’s not asparagus season anymore.)

From the surveillance footage at Ben & Jerry’s on Haight, this kind of creep:

Gotta admit, he has a real cakestealin’ look about him.

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There was a brief period about 9 years ago when El Patio was my favorite restaurant in the Mission. It was a little off the beaten path, it was near the Knockout, the food was good, there was never a wait, and the cutesy decor almost sort of felt like Disneyland or the Secret Alley.

I guess it closed recently, and it’s gonna be replaced by the Barchili/Old Bus Tavern combo that’s been popping up at Pizzahacker on Tuesdays. I had their burger and their Frito pie and a couple of their beers a couple weeks ago, and it was all awesome, so we’re gaining something good. But I’ll always remember El Patio fondly.

Here’s a cheesy blurb I wrote about it while working as an intern for an online travel guide company in 2006:

On the outskirts of the Mission District, where Valencia dead-ends into Mission Street, lies a hidden gem. While the Taqueria Cancun outpost across the way has garnered more accolades, El Patio is an exceedingly pleasant place for a home-cooked meal. Unlike its burrito-centric neighbors, this establishment offers full sit-down service, and heaping plates of Salvadoran and Mexican specialties. Sun streams in through the windows and skylights, providing ample reason to sit around drinking imported beer (such as Suprema or Regia), enjoying the sights and sounds of the bustling intersection out front and perhaps chowing down on a few plates of pupusas or a hot lengua entree. [link]

My boss was saying the clients at Marriott were asking for some more off-the-beaten-path stuff for their San Francisco city guide. I was like, “I’ve got just the thing!”

Man, I love homemade ketchup. Here, Wes explains tonight’s burger:

This is one of those rare times when I am going to put ketchup on a burger. Homemade scallion ketchup with shredded lettuce, cheddar pickles and lays potato chips. Side is jalapeno queso tots. See y’all 6-10 at Mojo Bicycle Cafe

[via Wes Burger on Facebook]