Mission Mission

On my way home from work today, I caught what is sure to be my last glimpse of a dying beast: the 26 Valencia.  It totally made that mraaawwwghhhh sound that dinosaurs make when you shoot ‘em as it lunged away from its stop.

Unlike KevMo, I’m a longtime Muni lover, Fast Pass collector, and old lady seat offerer, so am sad to see this piece of shit bus go.  I think it only proper I write up an homage of my own to add to Kevin’s post (I’m the nice one, he’s the mean one, haven’t you been paying attention?).

Riding the 26 always made me feel like I was taking public transit in Santa Barbara.  I saw it referred to as the “rich man’s 14″  somewhere online today, which I thought appropriate.  One time I was on the 26 and a Norwegian woman started telling me about how certain types of  hamburger meat paralyzes you for life and also that I have really good skin.  Yes, this bus is totally useless, but how awesome was it to conveniently bump into it and ride the 4 blocks down Valencia you were planning on walking?

RIP, 26 Valencia.  There will be tears in my beer and on my Fast Pass tonight.

If you didn’t already know, the kind of useless Muni line is shutting down tonight.  Personally, I’ve never ridden the Muni so I don’t give a shit, but presumably some of you do.  Honestly, I like biking and I don’t like buses.  Getting stabbed does sound like fun though.  Once I was taking the MBTA-70 into Boston and  watched what I assumed to be a homeless man stand up  and piss right there on the bus.  From that day on I swore to never ride the bus again and live on Capp St so I could watch people piss right in front of my house on an hourly basis instead.

But seriously, you can get anywhere in the city faster on a bicycle.  I don’t really see the point of taking it unless you are physically unable to get around without a motor (you could probably get around faster on a rascal scooter though).

Anyways, I felt it would be inappropriate to not honor the line in some way, so I asked a bunch of people who ride the line to write up obituaries for it.  Most people were like “who gives a shit?”  Figures.

From the smart and stylish Laura Beck:

I used to take the 26 from glen park to the mission on the regular(ish). what to say?

cons: this bus NEVER, and I mean NEVER, came.
pros: more time to play flight control on my phone and avoid Real Work.

cons: one of the regular drivers told me some awkward sexual jokes…is he hitting on me??
pros: i feel pretty!

pros: cleaner than your average city bus.
cons: no stabbings! BO-RING! perhaps this is why they are canceling service?

pros: drops you off in front of zeitgeist. entire days spent in lovely backyard garden, surrounded by awesome folks!
cons: drops you off in front of zeitgeist. entire days wasted in shitbox backyard garden, surrounded by assholes!

Wha?  What are you doing here?  You should be off reading Burrito Justice, a blog that does actual RESEARCH.

This morning, B.J. did a bang-up job of outlining the past 123 years on Valencia/Mission, in honor of El Rio’s 31st birthday.  I suggest you take a look at this fantastic post, especially if you love San Francisco history (HELLO!  Remember how much you loved  Milk?).  Thanks to Burrito Justice for picking up our slack.

[Note: The bar in the image above is totally not El Rio.  What, I have time to comb through archives all of a sudden?]

I’m not going to lie, I was just a little crushed to find out that the owner of Mr. Pickle’s last name was not “Pickles”:

Across from Los Jarritos is Mr. Pickles Sandwich Shop, a popular deli that has also continued to thrive during hard economic times. The business garnered some notoriety this year when its ubiquitous sandwich board – a sandwich-toting, sombrero wearing pickle – was stolen. It was eventually returned, said owner Diyana Jwenit, but only after a neighborhood-wide manhunt.

“Everyone was looking for Mr. Pickles,” she said – the police, customers, even the Mission Local blog. One day, a number of police officers rushed into the shop after hearing that Jwenit had been tipped off with an address (it was a false lead).

Eventually, the thief was shamed into calling Jwenit and returned the cutout. She credits the neighborhood.

“It’s the Mission,” she said. “It’s full of great people – everyone helped out.”

(Oh yeah, the article was about the economic times or something in the Mission.  Maybe you want to read it??)

Previously on Mission Mission:

• BREAKING: Mr. Pickle Stolen!
• SFPD: On the Mr. Pickles Case
• BREAKING: Mr. Pickle Hostage Situation!
• UPDATE: Mr. Pickle to be Voluntarily Returned?
• Mr. Pickle Returned to Mama Pickle!

Mark of Death Wish 3 sent us in this tip:

I came across a Chronicle article from 1891 about “mission hoodlums” raiding a bar and stealing three kegs of beer, then hiding their contraband in a barn in Bernal Heights.  so good.

This is definitely good stuff.  First, I am really happy to see Mission referred to as “Mission Road.”  Argh.  You can always spot a transplant in this town by them uttering the words “Mission St.”  I am also digging the picture of the sergeant making “one of the oldest officers on the force” roll the beer barrels up the hill all by himself.  Way to be a dick.

The Police Discover the Plunder in a Barn on Bernal Heights.

A gang of Mission hoodlums made a raid last Saturday night upon Hermann’s saloon, on the Mission road, carrying away three barrels of beer, which they secreted in a barn belonging to a man named Bell, on the very summit of Bernal Heights. For some reason the circumstances of the theft was kept from the police until Tuesday morning, when Sergeant Burke received knowledge of the affair in an indirect manner, and for his own information made an investigation of the robbery.

Yesterday Sergeant Burke had occasion to visit Bernal Heights to investigate some depredation recently commited there. While taking observations he happened to be in the vicinity of Bell’s barn, and something prompted him to take a peep inside, where, to his surprise, he espied the identical three barrels of beer snugly secreted in one corner of the barn.

Satisfying himself that it was Hermann’s property the sergeant summoned the owner to identify the property,and at the same time rang in for the patrol wagon to remove it to the Seventeenth-street station as evidence.

During the sergeant’s absence, however, the barrels were rolled out of the barn and slid down the steep hillside to the gulch below.

When he returned with Hermann he observed the furrows cut into the ground by the barrels. Hermann and the sergeant descended to the gulch and there the owner fully identified his property.

While in the gulch below the patrol wagon arrived at Bell’s barn on top of the hill, accompanied by Officer Gallagher, one of the oldest officers on the force. To get the wagon into the gulch below was out of the question, so the sergeant directed Gallagher to roll the three barrels of beer up the hillside to the wagon, where, with the assistance of the driver, they were loaded into the wagon and transferred to the Seventeenth-street station.

(link)

This art car was found all over the Bay Area in 2005/2006,* including the best street in the entire Mission District, but is merely now a rarely viewed set of Flickr images.  Does anyone know whatever happened to this Lego art car?

* maybe earlier?  Flickr did not exist prior to then.  Mega tears.

(Photo 1 / Photo 2 by gleemie | More Photos at Pt. Reyes)

(photo by Dizzy Atmosphere)

UPDATE: Johnny0 of Burrito Justice is better at the internet than me.

Where’s my “today” photo? Sheesh, you kids today need to learn to use the internet.

MapJack’s view.

Handy then-vs-now comparison I made.

Previously on Mission Mission:

• Dizzy Atmosphere’s Old Photos

Shortly after John Kerry botched his campaign for emperor, Ribity was introduced to the window of our favorite bar.

Fucking.  Historic.

(Photo by Claudine - Flickr link)

Artist Rio Yanez just finished a new mural outside Galeria de la Raza. It’s called Ghetto Frida’s Mission Memories and look, it looks great on video.

(link)

Previously (and be sure to peruse the comments sections for further remembrances of some of the things Frida remembers):

Mission Flashback 1975

Mission Flashback 1989

Burrito Justice today delivers a gripping survey of trees in the Mission. First some history, and then they identify a whole array of present-day Mission-dwelling trees. Pretty pictures!

Know Your Trees