Mission Mission

A mockingbird just moved into the tree across the street.  It looks like he came from a rough neighborhood though, because the only song he seems to know is that car alarm loop ubiquitous to areas with high incidence of grand theft auto (vice city).  I recorded a few minutes of his performance at 4am on friday night/saturday morning so you can hear him go through the cycle a few times.

Let’s hope he meets an automotive-minded female mockingbird soon, because it’s going to be tough to find another housemate on craigslist if I have to keep explaining why my neighbors are wearing ear plugs to bed.  Between this and the fact that just to the left of that tree is the spot where Omer ends up (and spends hours yelling incoherently) when he gets too drunk to continue his regular Valencia serenade, it’s going to be tough!

This week Potential Past and I both noticed the shadows in the park.

By Potential Past.

By me.

And a bonus comic strip about St. Patty’s Day in the park by Charlotte Drury.

I think they are doing it wrong.  Reader Brian H. explains:

There are some “vocal” folks living just off of the corner of 21st & Bryant.  They post signs about how their landlords are “harassing them” and are “professional evictors” and the like – all by way of signs in their windows and door.

Spotted at 21st and Bryant.

Dolores Park, meet Erika.

(via generic)

the kind of pic that could kill dolores

By now everyone has already heard about the untimely arrest of Ganja Treats, tossed a nug or two into the compost bin for the homies, and gotten on with their lives, looking ahead in gleeful anticipation to the next weekend in dry heave cavern.  But what if that’s the end of all of it?

Are they only going to be targeting excessive flouting of law like Cold Beer Cold Water up there?  Or is it going to be like this for everybody:

courtesy of S. Pigeon

No one seemed to worry much about anything imminently endangering their quest for fun in the park when word got out last year about this leaked memo to “improve” Dolores Park, dismissing it as just another one of Gideon Kramer’s crazy schemes.  But the City and NIMBY neighbors were patient, knowing that the approaching winter would sanitize the park for a few peaceful months, and everyone would forget about it for a while.  And they prepared.

Now that the days are starting to get longer and warmer, we’re witnessing the initial attempts to define the new “rules” of the park.  They need to be established before the Indian Summer brings out the unmanageable hoards, too dense and populous to effectively police.  No, stories need to get out early about people getting busted in the park so that future visitors will tread carefully, always looking over their shoulder.

Regarding Cold Beer Cold Water, I really feel like his approach endangers the park the most.  The City can enumerate a litany of reasons for which to act:  he could be selling to minors; he’s taking business away from permitted liquor stores in the vicinity; he’s not . . . paying . . . any . . . TAXES!!!  At any rate, we all need to be a little more conscientious and careful, because all the bad Yelp reviews have finally added up, and things are definitely changing.  Anyone go to that last community meeting?

Park with Neighbors courtesy of Telestar Logistics

Ps.  Someone please warn that cute truffle boy before it’s too late!

Previously:

Leaked Memo Reveals Effort to ‘Improve’ Dolores Park

Drinking Beer in the Park

Tiffany Had a Bad Time at Dolores Park, Yelped About It

Dolores Park Aerial

Public Meeting Re: Dolores Park Closure

Janee_ just pointed out that the music video for Third Eye Blind’s 90′s hit Semi-Charmed Life was shot in the Mission:

This is almost as cool as that Chumbawumba video shot in Hayes Valley. (On second thought, maybe I dreamt that)

Ooh, it’s super sunny outside.  Can this be the kind of weekend for rehab in the park?  Warm and cozy yet dutifully sheltered from the migraine-inducing rays of sun by Oriental umbrellas and Wayfarers while administering a steady hangover-abating electrolyte IV courtesy of Fierce Lime?

JANEBOOK takes the time to reminisce.

This weather report says it’s still too cold.  Damn groundhog.

But I just got this text from my cousin Minoo!

Gonna get coffee and do physics in the park.  Want to join?

You know, I think I do!  Take that Phil!

UPDATE!!! And while I was there, Ganja Treats guy got arrested by an undercover cop!  It’s the end of an era.  Kevmo has more over at Uptown Almanac.

MissionMission reader Anna spotted this promotional material above the 24th/Mission BART station, and since I’m probably not gonna make it over to Fruitvale this weekend to audition for Hoarders at the gargantuan White Elephant Sale, I might have to settle for this.

After all, where else can I find:

A Digdogger completely unadulterated by rogue magic whistle blowing?

That damn Evil Dead book? And a chair to sit on while I read and unleash an Army of Darkness?

A Phanto-landlord overzealously concerned with my key deposit?

Zen weed (traditional Japanese seaweed)?

A talking penis imploring me to "please cum"?

That’s right.  Only in the Mission.  And maybe the Tenderloin too.

Oh snap, it just started!  Better head over!

Recursion!

People, please, if you only have one restroom in your apartment and it’s occupied by one of your housemates, do your neighbors and your dignity a  favor and just walk down to the nearest cafe.  Buy a scone or a cheap coffee if necessary, because it’s really better than the alternative, sent to us by an anonymous reader:

Short story:  I heard exceptionally loud “gurgling” noises from my 2nd floor window on Sun. afternoon.  I looked out the window and saw my fat Hispanic upstairs neighbor squatting and shitting onto the side of the building like a dog.  More accurately, she was blowing out a stream of diarrhea that looked like mustard sludge. I was totally blown away and yelled “what are you crazy!!??”  She looked up, made eye contact (I snapped the first pic at that moment), lowered her skirt, turned around, picked up her bag and just walked out like nothing happened!!!!  Even crackheads have more dignity and wipe afterwards!!!

NSFW pics after the jump . . .

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