Mission Mission

This past weekend was Bender’s 6th anniversary, so team Mission Mission was there in force feasting on buffalo girls, guzzling Tecates and club sodas, and awkwardly dancing to soul music.  Then we spotted the most epic couple breaking it down all over the floor.

This is the closest I've ever come to going inside Clooney's, which is sad.

Some London bloke recently came stateside on assignment to find “San Francisco’s Best Dive Bars.”  Interestingly enough, his two Mission choices were The Attic and Clooney’s.  Really?

On the subject on Clooney’s, it appears it was recently sold to a new owner (see sign above).  I cannot wait to see what goes down there.  I bet it turns into the next Medjool.

(link)

This pamphlet was found (and left) on Capp Street. It looked quite helpful.

In related news, I recently overheard quite the little Mission scene.
(This conversation comes from my memory, but I believe it to be mostly accurate)

Setting: Late Sunday morning in an alley near 16th and Mission.

Characters: Man #1, white, mid-30s, having a smoke in front of his studio. Man #2, white, mid-20s, having a smoke of crack in front of Man #1′s studio.

Man #1: Dude, you into crack?

Man #2: Yeah, man, I’m into all kinds of things. Really into crystal, into it all though. I love drugs.

(I missed the next two lines, as I was sleepily spacing out in the big chair in the living room)

Man #1: What are you doing with your life, man? I mean, really?

Man #2: Hah! Just making it go by as fast as possible.

Man #1: What?

Man #2: Just making it go by as fast as possible!

Man #1: (shaking-head-in-disgust sound)

Man #2: I tell you what though, at least I’m not smoking cigarettes.

Man #1: (more disgusted sounds)

Man #2: Now I’m gonna piss on this pigeon. C’mere pigeon! Imma piss on you!

Man #2 then urinates on a pigeon, Man #1 goes back into his studio.

As someone without a tap-tap-tap smartphone, I often use GOOG-411 to dial up local establishments while away from the www.   Boop beep bamp bompbomp… I’ll connect you!

This past weekend, unfortch, attempts at reaching Beretta (Valencia at 23rd) were all sorts of messed.

Voice search pronunciations carried out included: brrrr-eh-tah, bee-reh-duh, beh-re-TA!, and so forth.  Attempts were made by three parties of mixed age, gender, and socioeconomic status.  No dice!

Goog did, however, pull up the following results:

• Goodwill (wha?)
• Baraka (almost!)
• Piranha (eh.)
• Ghirardelli Square (pronounced: grrr-ARRGHHH… delisquare)

Sure, okay, I’ll dine at Goodwill.

READERS: Try this one at home! If you figure out the correct way to pronounce “Beretta” for GOOG-411ing purposes, make me a reservation. The caponatina with burrata (#56 on the 7×7 list) makes eggplant relevant again (sorry, eggplant).

Our old pal Ryan from American Apparel, pictured here (or maybe not), just got in touch to tell us about the company’s new traveling flea market, which stops tomorrow at SFSU’s student center. Prices start at $2, but presumably the hooded swimsuit will still be fetching a higher premium, because it is so fetching.

Spotted at 15th and Treat by permanently scatterbrained a long time ago:

just when you thought your rare albanian velodrome made you the most deck hipster in the mission…

…this son of a bitch has to add a monster truck tire to his rare ukrainian velodrome. damn!

(Photo and post tags stolen from permanently scatterbrained | Hat tip San Francisco, For the Win)

Previously on Mission Mission:

• The Purest Form of Cycling

Unfortunately I was slow on the camera draw, but that does not detract from the fact that there was a dude pushing a big stuffed llama on a skateboard down Capp St.

Previously on Mission Mission:

• Homeless Jester
• CHICKENS

Megan Wade‘s new favorite tagger.

Handjobbin’ over the weekend took its favorite Mission print publication on a camping trip.

Sugarlump at 24th and Florida is now serving vegan tamales.  Ordinarily this would not be noteworthy, but if they are the delicious yet elusive SF Vegan Tamales, this is totally earth-shattering.

(via Vegansaurus! via eddo_likes_you via Futurama)