Mission Mission

The latest on EDW Lynch’s latest romantic status was revealed at a press conference last week at Amnesia:

So glad to see the return of BBC reporter Darvid Tokishi. Anyway, they are accepting dating applications for all you interested parties, ladies or men. Legally, they can’t require you to specify.

The EDW Lynch corporate manglomerate is delighted to announce we are now accepting applications for our Fall romantic evaluation meeting (dating) season.

The manglomerate has been inundated by romantic inquiries ever since EDW Lynch announced our tri­umphant return to the San Francisco romantic market last week. Our easy to use dating application form will streamline the process of selecting qualified applicants for romantic evaluation meetings during Fall 2010.

Apply Now! EDW Lynch Application for Romantic Evaluation Meeting

As you can see, there are some very important questions in the evaluation:

I’ll have to run these documents by legal and touch base with the VP of Romantic Affairs. In the meantime, you can review the documentation at EDW Lynch.

Previously:

Breaking: Manglomerate EDW Lynch Leaving the SF Romantic Market

Iraqi-Japanese Fusion Restaurant Bonsai Tree Piercing

Traditional jazz outfit Gaucho has been holding down the Wednesday 8-10pm slot at Amnesia for over 7 years. That has got to be one of the longest-running gigs in the Mission, right? Their new album “Pearl” was released today by the Mission’s own Porto Franco Records.

The record was recorded in Amnesia early this year while the bar was closed during the day. I was fortunate enough to sit in on those sessions while munching on my first ever Rhea’s sandwiches and it was a real treat. “Pearl” is almost entirely original compositions by guitarist and band leader Dave Ricketts that feel right at home with classic trad jazz standards.

A few songs feature vocalist Tamar Korn who they met last year on tour in NYC. Her amazing falsetto voice makes me feel like I’ve travelled back to a time where “dudes” where “fellas” and “fixies” were “penny-farthings“. Here she is singing a song about Dave’s cat:

You buy the record (CD or download) and check out some free tracks at Gaucho’s web site.

[photo by Brenda Ernst]

Woah, some kid’s mom is pissed at him right now.

But the 9-year-old in me is seriously losing his shit. Are we talking loose LEGOs or full sets? I’m looking to complete my Blacktron collection.

[onlyinsanfrancisco via themissionposition]

Clearly, the only conclusion that one can come to when finding strange objects on the street is that they came from a “hipster party”. Has anyone seen a “lamenting hipster” walking around? Or perhaps one of our hipster readers knows what happened here.

If so, let Mission Loc@l know.

Cranky Old Mission guy posted a picture of some street artwork on 17th and Mission. What the hell is that thing, anyway?

When I was in 4th grade, it was simply impossible to imagine a haircut more cool than a mohawk or a flat-top. Luckily, Mary’s Beauty Salon on 18th and Mission offers both of them.

Or maybe this is a reference to the 1988 Japan-only Famicom side-scrolling 2d platform title: “Flaptop and Mohaw”, which Super Mario Brothers 3 was pretty much based on (they just changed the sprites). Seriously, look it up.

Aw, hell naw:

The highlight of the night was pouring out beers for drinking in public, but that’s OK because these bad guys respected us for doing it, they knew this was breaking the law.

The question is, what kind of beers? Hopefully no local microbrews.

All this comes from their latest patrol report. The report also indicates that they accosted and handcuffed a kid for MUNI fare evasion. Apparently, it’s ok to slap handcuffs on a total stranger. If I wasn’t such a pussy, I might be inclined to say something slightly unflattering about these guys.

[via San Francisco Citizen]

Update: Our pal Joshua comments:

actually it looks like they handcuffed one of their own incognito. Then again, their writing is so god-awful I can’t really tell what they’re trying to say.

Previously:

Guardian Angels Patrol Walgreens, Call Vic Wong a Pussy

Woah.

[via Gizmodo]

Update: Fox pulled the YouTube link. Here’s the vimeo version:

Previously:

San Francisco Has Banksy Fever!