Mission Mission

City officials announced today that they were planning to repaint the Golden Gate Bridge the color gold for its 75th anniversary. Makes sense to me. Because of the name.

(“Artist” rendering.)

Photographers everywhere are charging their batteries in anticipation. Local iPhone photography enthusiast, Mark Shotson, already has his Instagram filter picked out. “I’m going with Toaster for the way that it really makes the center of the frame pop!”

In other landmark news, local rich person Larry Ellison plans to rename Sutro Tower “Ellison’s Oracle” and then tear it down to get a better view of the fog from his mansion. He also urged city officials to make sure that the new golden bridge is painted in matte, as opposed to gloss, so the sun’s reflection doesn’t confuse America’s Cup participants. City officials were nothing but happy to oblige.

[Original photo by mindwalker2076]

I would argue that New Yorkers have no business enforcing etiquette on a dish they have so far failed at. Also, it’s pronounced like “Bur-Eat-Oh”, the last syllable there a closer approximation to the true reaction to a New York burrito.

[via Brendan]

Regular old ping pong! Nothing Berlin about it!

Right now, @ Bottom of the Hill

The official SF Critical Mass Facebook account 19 minutes ago asked its followers to comment on the tradition of circling in major intersections during the ride. Some good answers right off the bat:

Read on for more, and do be on the lookout for Critical Mass this evening.

(Why something like SF Critical Mass has an official Facebook account in the first place remains a mystery.)

Well, the first major Dolores Park renovation is done, and it just so happens to be the section of the park you’re probably too old to hang out in. This Saturday, check out the ribbon cutting event from 2-4pm.

True to Dolores Park form, there will be a performance with Shredder Hoops, a troupe of scantly-clad women demonstrating their flexibility with flaming hula hoops:

Live music will be provided courtesy of Orange Sherbert, a family-friendly band that writes rap songs about the benefits of eating locally-sourced sustainable seasonal vegetables (no I didn’t just make that up):

Oh, and there’s face painting, if you’re into that. I personally don’t care for it, after the unicorn-whose-head-looked-a-lot-like-a-dick incident of 1986.

[via Dolores Park Works]

As in a trash bin full of squash. Savvy dumpster divers would be wise not to squander the opportunity!