Mission Mission

Hey, fuck you Bobby Flay. I thought it was jacked up how you jumped up on your cutting board and “raised the roof” after the iron chef competition against Morimoto. Then after you lost, you did it again in Japan on his home turf during the rematch! That time, you knew that knives and cutting boards are sacred to the Japanese. Way to shit on an entire culture, troll.

Flay has been known to strangle Target models while making bro-ey O-faces (dramatization)

Did you know this guy doesn’t even have a high school education? Seriously, he dropped out of HS when he was 17! And get this, he’s being sued by former employees for some shitty labor practices like unfair tip pooling, failure to pay overtime, and refusing to pay legitimate employee incurred expenses! Pretty uncool if you ask me.

This is why you should root for Miguel Escobido from Papalote (24th and Valencia) when he squares off in a burrito battle against Flay on Wednesday’s Throwdown With Bobby Flay. That, and no one makes a better burrito than the Mission (okay, maybe Mexico).

The throwdown airs at 10pm Wednesday 2/17. Set your VCRs. More details here.

Oh boy, Mission Minis little cupcake kiosk will have it’s grand opening today at 2pm on 22nd b/t Mission and Capp. Pizza Hacker will be there, because if anything goes great with little cupcakes, it’s pizza.

Oh, and there’s gonna be a bunch of free stuff. Creme Brûlée Cart is giving away 100 free mini creme brûlées (fuck, that word has way too many accent characters). Try not to get trampled.

Reader and artiste Donald Tetto says:

I’m involved in a big group art show of tiny works in a tiny space, The Good Shop at 22nd and Folsom…

Almost all the artists are from the Mission, and I’ll be selling a chapbook of my poems about the Mission at the opening. Great Valentine’s Day gift?! But other artists will be showing small photos, sketches, collages, and so on that are really fantastic.

Details at the facebook event page, and in the flyer:

True to V-day form, Donald adds:

Once you linked to one of my tweets: http://missionmission.wordpress.com/2009/06/17/biker-down/ which was pretty helpful as a cute girl later said to me, “Hey, I saw your tweet on Mission Mission!”

He left out the part where she said, “God that site sucks now, when’s Allan coming back?”

Tonight is your opportunity to a) support the arts and b) get yourself out of that Valentine’s day hole you’ve dug.

The Poetry Store is featured at Secession gallery’s show opening tonight, enhancing already awesome photos by Armand of Mission Loc@l and Julie of i live here: SF.

Armand + Silvi

Julie + Silvi

Freshly crafted poems in bottles go a long way, guys:

Secession, on Mission between 29th and 30th (across from Safeway). The opening runs from 6:30-9:30.

I was worried that my unflattering review of Nap’s 3 might lead to a flamewar. It’s a legitimate concern. Allan helped put me at ease:

You heard it here first. If these hypothetical Nap’s 3 facebook fans exist, then we’ll make a Herzog-style documentary of Allan eating his facebook, which should be good since it’s technically impossible.

Update: After School Naps <3 doesn’t count!

As Ron Perlman uttered in Fallout, “War. War never changes.” Accordingly, the fourth major theater of the San Francisco Food Wars stormed on today at Thirsty Bear. Herbs, cheeses, grains, and nuts fleshed out the theme: Yeast Affliction — that’s bread disease to you and me.

Sourdough was, as one might expect of an SF event, a competitive genre. Palo Alto’s Mayfield Bakery had a particularly wonderful sourdough and Jen Rosa took the gold for her Rosemary Sourdough — a well earned victory.

Your correspondents’ personal pick of the show was Wild Yeast‘s Semolina Sourdough with Fennel, Currants, and Pine Nuts. Seriously, that was some amazing shit.

And the enticingly named “Hurricane” (not pictured) totally deserved people’s choice: brown rice and seaweed! The seaweed was intense but with a slab of butter proved perfectly balanced. Your correspondents can’t wait for the recipes to be released.

The Fancy Boyz easily swept up the coveted Mission Mission best-dressed award. Their fermented Pain a l’Ancienne wasn’t half-bad neithers.

It wasn’t all buttery and fluffy, though. While Stable’s yard is large enough to allow for mingling, Thirsty Bear couldn’t really handle the volume. Any time your correspondents tried to stop and enjoy the bread, we were accidentally blocking someone or unintentionally in line for something. While the event was fun, we hope future battles retreat back to Stable.

Photography by Ashleigh Cole

Any of y’all go?

Update! Agent Chaos of The Derailleurs is here to spread the word that there is a Bike Dance Cabaret in town. The Derailleurs will be debuting their Tweed Ride Polo Dance Movie and also the Derailleurs Coloring Book.

Come see what the saucy cyclists have cooked up for you.

Dance performances by the Derailleurs, the Bombshells (punk rock burlesque), and the Cheese Puffs (lounge burlesque)

Live music by The Nerv (hard hitting, straightforward inspirational punk), Jessie Roadkill (quirky singer-songwriter), and Tongue and Teeth (haunting and passionate)

Dance music by DJs Zelko (of Kafana Balkan), Miss Rowdy (booty), and Mega Bitch (more booty)

When: Jan. 30th

Where: The Box Factory 865 Florida #1 @ 21st

How Much: $7

[photo by derailleurs]

My buddy Josh from the Mission SRO collaborative alerted me to a community teach-in and press conference going down tomorrow at Dolores Street Community Services on Valencia between 20th and 21st.  Here’s the what:

San Francisco city officials and low income housing advocates will launch the newly expanded 311 that will benefit the more than 18,000 SRO residents throughout the city.  Formerly utilized mainly for outdoor issues (potholes, graffiti, parks, etc.), 311 has now been expanded to address building issues, such as pests, inadequate heat or water, blocked fire exits and more.  Advocates and city officials will be hitting the streets to get the word out and encourage residents to utilize the new service.

The event kicks off at 9:30 a.m.   District supervisors David Campos and David Chiu will be in attendance, among others.

The Mission SRO Collaborative program is an interesting one, and one whose efforts we’ve been happy to highlight in the past.  The non-profit provides outreach and education to residents of Single Room Occupancy (SRO, duh) hotels in the Mission, of which there are around 50, housing around 2,000 people.

It’s nice to hear there are organizations remedying all the shitty SF homelessness.  Me, I just work for the Internet.  The Internet doesn’t help anyone.

Check it out if at all interested.

I know.  You want to do your part for Haiti, but you’ve already stuffed your face to the limit with Bi-Rite bake sale goodies and texted 90999 from your mom’s cellphone at least twenty times.  Well, there’s more!

Mutual Aid Disaster Relief in Haiti is hosting a benefit tonight at El Rio (Mission @ Caesar Chavez) featuring quite a diverse collection of musical performances.  Headlining is Brass Menažeri, a frenetic, cascading rhythm of Serbian, Macedonian, Greek & Rajasthani Roma.

Other acts include the percussive jazzy stylings of Ezra Lipp and Ofir Uzier; Sean Lee with some one-man-banjo old timey twanging; Arthur Adams strumming some Haitian pop guitar (H-Pop>J-Pop?); and of course the Mission’s own La Corde opening everything up with some loud punk rock.  Makes sense, right?

$1 PBR and $2 well drinks!  Determine your own legacy of generosity at the door with a sliding scale that starts at only $5.  The music begins promptly at 8pm.

While not quite as bad as recounting your teenage diaries to strangers, the idea of someone judging your taste in music can induce squeamishness in even the most confident would-be DJs.

Nonetheless, the San Francisco Mixtape Society wants you to put those fears aside and check out its inaugural event at the Makeout Room on Sunday, January 31 from 4-6pm.  They propose a “Secret Santa” gathering where everybody who brings a mixtape leaves with one created by someone else.  Of course, there will be JUDGES and prizes to entice along the way.  No word yet on whether the $2 Pabst and $3 well happy hour prices will be in effect, but early indications are favorable.

USBs and CDs are acceptable, but Cassettes are marriageable, apparently.  We’re letting you know about this early so you can get to work!  The theme is “Cities vs. Towns,” but I already suspect my extensive ABBA collection will be the deciding factor here.

<image by fitacola.com>