Mission Mission

This picture has been whizzing around the internet all week, gaining all sorts of predictable (and merited) criticism, including the great honor of a stream-of-consciousness smackdown on Gawker. Although Gawker assumed the prickish missive must have originated in L.A., Inside Scoop reports that it came from a $37 check at a restaurant in the S.F. Westfield Center called “Cupola.”

Although the Bay Area might be a tough place to pull this kind of bullshit, I think the stingy little fucker is missing an opportunity to ride this viral news story to fame of Joe the Plumber proportions. I would gladly tune in to see this guy flesh out his political and economic theories on Fox & Friends. So how about it, buddy? Time to take the plunge and stand up for what’s right? I can’t imagine an anonymous note to an unsuspecting server in the mall is the extent of your thirst for social justice.

Our pal Lizzy spotted this delightful-sounding, bitterly cool treat all the way over in Ferndale, Michigan (where apparently nobody knows what Fernet is)! And just earlier this week, Eater reported that new neighborhood bar Trick Dog is serving up Fernet ice cream. I’m expecting that Humphrey Slocombe will roll out a Fernet and Froot Loops-flavored popsicle any day now.

This is a smiling turd. Because how could your loved one not think of a turd when he or she is presented with this.

A headstone with a sweet message. Nothing says I love you like presenting someone with a nice little grave that reads “My love for you is here to stay”.

This is [sic].

Ahh, Walgreens. At the corner of Love & Happiness.

A promising development seems to be afoot in some of the city’s newer taxi cabs, which I noticed for the first time the other day as I was stepping into the shiniest, cleanest cab I’ve ever seen around here.

Oblivious taxi passengers exiting the vehicle have long been a constant menace to cyclists on Valencia and other streets with bike lanes for some time, so let’s hope this addition becomes more widespread and actually encourages clueless folks to check before carelessly flinging open their door!

We received the following email this evening, which has been circulating in a few neighborhood email lists. The original message was written by a female Mission resident who was attacked on Saturday evening. The assailant is still on the loose. Please stay safe and be cautious and vigilant if you are walking home alone late at night.

Update: According to Mission Local, “authorities described the suspect as an 5’8-tall Asian man who weighs approximately 160 pounds, between the ages of 20 and 30. He has a buzzcut and a slight beard and was wearing a dark hooded sweatshirt and dark pants.”

Hello -

If your getting this email its because you are a female friend in my circles, live in my neighborhood-ish, or have a large circle of women friends. I wanted to spread the word of what happened to me so hopefully you and your circles can be more aware, street smart and vigilant about your personal safety.

On Saturday evening I was walking home from a friends potluck through the mission when I was attacked – an attempted rape. I was actually being quite conscious of those around me due to the fact that I’m heading to Nairobi in several weeks and personal safety has been on my mind. As I turned up 23rd street, I noticed a man walking to me that ‘zero-ed’ in on my presence, locking eyes on me. There was no side street to turn down, and I didn’t want to turn around, exposing my back to him, so I kept walking. As we neared each other, I tried to walk around a tree quite close to the curb, before I could do so he lunged at me.

(more…)

Q: How do you protect your brand new Benz when parking in the mission?

A: With padded car diapers!

(more…)

There’s a familiar local restaurant (that is, its NYC counterpart) reference in Elizabeth Wurtzel’s latest polarizing spew of unhappy humblebrag:

But I don’t think I really want to be going to the new P. T. Anderson movie and Mission Chinese with someone new when I’m 85. And I don’t think anyone will want to be doing that with me.

I sure hope P.T. Anderson is still making movies when Elizabeth is 85.

Two full weeks after it toppled, and they finally got around to propping it back up. First, they lift it off the ground with a bigass crane:

Then they weld some shit back together:

Done.

The one redeeming quality of all this rain is that it creates ideal conditions for some curious sidewalk cultivation.  Just don’t eat any!

[Photo by eminent botanist Lauren B.]

Some friend of yours who just moved here from New York? Spotted on Bartlett.