Mission Mission

This is an 8-minute video about nerdy beer stuff.

That said, it stars Broke-Ass Stuart and a friend of his that tends bar at the Monk’s Kettle, and it’s really fun to watch Stu not give a shit about all the knowledge his pal is dropping on him.

They make a good point though: Why drink tall cans of Bud when you can get a pint of Death & Taxes (which is tastier, higher in alcohol, locally made, and doesn’t even look like a gay beer) for roughly the same price?

Thanks for the tip, Stu!

Somebody street arted their coffee or something all over the sidewalk on Valencia Street, and it looked like a monster, so I drew it. A few times.

The original is still the best by far. Anyone else want to take a crack?

Dang, I thought maybe I was over Ramona, but I’m not.

She just figured out the answer to every problem any of us has ever had with interpersonal communication. See for yourself.

Photo by TheeErin.

You’ll just have to ask Sexpigeon where exactly this driveway of forgiveness is located.

I don’t care for all the foul language, but I kind of like this guy’s attitude.

The best part is when your girlfriend’s ass turns out to be his ass. That was an Avatar-level special effect if ever I saw one.

Also, who doesn’t love a good Beat Happening gag?

And stay for the last 10 seconds.

[via Radballs]

“Caught this devotional item in the window of a religious curiosity shop on 24th near Mission,” says photographer Jim Parker, “I think something got lost in translation.”

Maybe, maybe not. Maybe organized religion can fuck itself.

Thanks, Jim!

I have mixed feelings about Nap’s 3 karaoke night, which takes place on Fridays and Saturdays.

"When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love; love to explore that world up above? Out of the sea; Wish I could be; Part of that world"

On the one hand, the bar has a refreshing clientele of alcoholic old-timers who aren’t too proud to high-five the oddly-dressed young folks who happen into the place. Rarely was there more than a 3-song wait before your time to shine. Also, the exceedingly jolly KJ has a kick-ass raspy, soulful croon.

No, really. How deep is it?

On the other hand, their book is rife with glaring song duplicates and some surprising omissions. No Huey Lewis And The News or Boyz II Men? Every Tom Jones song except for “What’s New Pussycat” and “It’s Not Unusual”? I can think of 20 Nirvana songs I’d want to sing before their only suggestion: “All Apologies”. I didn’t check if they had Sinatra’s “My Way”, but maybe that’s best left unknown. Furthermore, the bar had a baffling “no beer, just $7 cocktails” last call policy.

So what’s the best place for karaoke in the Mission? Good karaoke spots are a delicate balance of a good song book, stiff drinks, not too many intimidatingly talented regulars (e.g. the Mel-o-dee, El Cerrito), and not too popular so you can actually get some songs in.

My vote might have to go to Amnesia’s Tuesday Rock-Out! Karaoke with Glenny Kravitz. I went a couple of months ago and have never seen so much spontaneous broomstick-air-guitar in my life. Although, who knows if the lines are still short.

So you party a little too hard at Debaser and wake up in someone else’s bed, but UH-OH, you forgot that you have that early-morning meeting at Ritual with some venture capitalists who are ready to pump funding into your game-changing gumball machine idea.  While trackstanding at a stoplight, you realize your breath smells like Zeitgeist on porta-potty cleaning day and will only get worse once rinsed with espresso culled from an $11,000 coffee machine (or not).  What to do?

Luckily, your gumball machine game-changer also happens to be exactly what you need in this situation.  Synergy!

The Chewable Toothbrush

‘All in one’ disposable toothbrush and breath freshener.  No toothpaste or water required! For instant results simply place the soft brush in your mouth and chew (see diagrams).  Leaves your whole mouth feeling clean and fresh!  Great anytime after snacks or meals.  Ideal for holidays and travelling.  Not suitable for children under 6 yrs.  DO NOT SWALLOW.

Is anyone surprised to see that this comes from London?

Previously: Start Your Own Mission Empire for $60

Even if we assembled a think-tank supergroup of the most cynical Mission bloggers whose sole purpose would be to come up with the best Marina zingers that the world has ever seen, there’s no way we could have come up with anything more absurd than the real thing:

(via that up-and-coming blog BoingBoing, almost as big as Mission Mission)

Update: I feel like I owe this to the Pad. Here is their explanation (via James Fallows):

I’m only sorry the intention of this drive was unclear to you. Actually, our drive was a part of a bigger organized effort spear headed by the founder of JADE yoga mat, during the weekend of the annual San Francisco Yoga Journal Conference. JADE asked studio owners, teachers, students alike to give up their old or used mats so that the thousands of suffering people in Haiti may have somewhere softer the  ground to sleep.

So yeah, it’s a misunderstanding, but you gotta admit it’s a funny misunderstanding. Like that time my math professor wrote that equation “f=avt” on the board in a way that looked like “f=art”. The class had a giggle, he set the record straight, and got over it.

Poignant commentary or unfortunate misspelling?  If the latter, then this edges out our previous champion.  Get it while it’s fresh.

[available @  the 24th/Folsom market/check cashing/almost-landord]