Mission Mission

Well, this was here too.

Yesterday (known for the next few days or so as “on Sunday”) I was walking through the hot and sunny neighborhood enjoying the whole thing and I strolled up to the park hoping to run into some friends. When I found them I got excited and I jumped around a bit and did some old fashion tackling-type activity. At some point during this play my iPod fell out of my pocket and into the grass.

That’s a bummer, I thought later, finding an empty pocket, since it’s kind of new and I use it a lot. But maybe I’ll just have to find more creative ways to do things. I was even about to finally give in and buy a cellular phone.

But then, when I got home, I found an e-mail from a stranger who said that she had found my iPod and I should send her my number so I could come pick it up! And I did and I did! I stopped by the home of some dude who was maybe her partner or friend or who cares, but he was so nice and when I handed him some cookies as a thank you he almost didn’t take them. “Well, anyone would have done it,” he said.

But I’m not sure that’s true. Would you?

(illustrative photo by the awesome Potential Past)

P.S. When I was in college I was pick pocketed on the subway at Times Square and got the wallet in the mail a week or two later with my ID still in it. So, maybe I’m too lucky for my own good or maybe people are generally pretty considerate.

Those crazy neighbors are at it again!  This time, it appears as though they’ve run afoul of their landlord one time too many, and the property owner has responded by just completely giving up and Ellis-ing the whole place to cut his losses.  Or he/she might just want to build condos all over the place, since that happens to be all the rage these days.

Pro-tip:  To be “Ellis-ed” is to have the property owner invoke the Ellis Act, which allows them to evict all residents and “go out of business.”  It is often employed by owners as a loophole to facilitate converting units into condo$.

If you ever feel that you are being unfairly evicted from your apartment, a fantastic community resource right here in the Mission that can help you is the San Francisco Tenants Union, located right near 21st and Capp in a classy old house.  They take drop-ins too, so don’t hesitate to utilize their services if you ever have any important renter questions.  They’ve definitely helped me out in the past!

[Photos by reader Brian H]

Previously:

Keep BMW Out of the Mission

Everybody loves parades.  The Rose Parade, Dykes on Bikes; hell, Disneyland has a parade every single day.  And street festivals are all about revolution, taking back the pavement from automobiles and the insidious forces that promote their ubiquitous role in society.  Predictably then, the Cesar Chavez Parade and Festival was an obvious hit, marrying both concepts into a union that even the Mormons would have a difficult time de-legitimizing.

This fellow was particularly enthused to be part of the action.  Since they apparently wouldn’t let him be part of the lo rider escort team, rolling with the mobile mariachi unit was the next logical choice.  Oh, but you don’t have to litter, guys!

The unions also got to strut their stuff, which was probably the whole point when this celebration was initially conceived.  It was educational, too, since I previously had no idea that there was in fact a linoleum union.

As expected, the postal union continued their stagnant march ahead, blissfully unaware that the Post Office will probably be bankrupt in two years, having chosen to subsidize environment-wrecking mass catalog distribution and junk mail companies by resorting to steadily increasing the cost of postage for you and me to send simple letters, rather than attempting to creatively integrate the internet age into operations.

It’s unfortunate that it costs 44 cents for us to send a simple one-page letter in the mail, but Ikea (or pick whatever corporation you want) gets to clog your box with massive tomes that you will probably just forward directly to the recycling bin, and they only have to pay a mere penny or two to send each one.  Trees get chopped to supply all the paper, much of which often finds its final resting place in landfills.  All the while the USPS keeps hemorrhaging money without knowing why.  But arguing about snail mail on the internet is a tired affair, and I digress.  Plus, we’ve still got to get to the street festival!

(more…)

Could this be the same mystery golf cart that was spotted last month while the mysterious driver was epicly failing a DUI test?  While the speakers did not seem sufficient to blast Public Enemy for all to hear, at least this one comes with a Vespa sidecar.

Could Cushmans become the hipster version of Smart Cars?  They are super easy to park but can’t even go on a highway, just like enjoying the streamlined design of no brake or gear cables while being unable to effectively bomb Potrero Hill (minus the fish-tailing, of course).

Could a future question on the analogy section of the hipster GRE possibly be:

ROAD BIKE : FIXIE

• smart car : cushman

Ha, Hipster GRE!

Previously:

Mystery Drunken Golf Cart

Mission Mystery Machine Meter Maid

Inside Schlomo’s Cushman

Whenever he gets too drunk to maintain his Valencia serenade, Mission troubadour Omer retreats to the mural wall across the street from my house, right next to the mockingbird car alarm tree.  Instrument skills extinguished for the night due to inebriated motor reflexes, he nonetheless continues the show and resorts to borderline racism and half-baked paranoia, even if there is no audience.  While it was too dark to really see what was going on, I’m sure you’ll recognize the voice.

Full disclosure:  If you choose NOT to listen to these rants of his, you will probably end up smarter for it.  I, on the other hand, do not have much of a choice!

Omer extols us to study the Constitution, and he wonders where Obama is from:

Omer rallies against gentrification and apologizes for the sorry state in which his hero Jimmy Carter left our country:

Previously:

Omer’s Favorite Breakfast Cereals

Omer, Bard of Valencia

No Love for Omer?

Ardent commenter and Ski Free expert MrEricSir captured this crew planting some trees on the recently renovated sidewalk of Valencia between 16th and 17th St.  While this definitely looks better than:

. . . Am I the only one who’s worried about where to lock up my bicycle now that all those parking meters are gone?

UPDATE!!! I am an idiot and the parking meters were reinstalled last week!  Leave it to the City to maximize parking revenue efficiency!

And this black asphalt will allegedly contain the new Días de los Muertos bike-racks!  Rad!  Nice surface area!

Brainslip brings us some hard-hitting reporting about everyone’s favorite foul-mouthed Mission troubadour/celebrity stalker Omer. So read on if you’re curious about “Omer’s Favorite Breakfast Cereals Of All Time“. (I’m surprised Yoko-O’s didn’t make the list)

LOVE this. Who else is pumped about Lollapalooza?

Thanks for sharing, Jess!

You Might Find Yourself had a “fancy pants tea party” in the park over the weekend apparently.

Man, my mom made me go to a lot of fancy pants tea parties when I was a kid and NONE OF THEM EVER HAD BIG DADDY I.P.A.! What’s up with that, Mom?

[via generic1]