Mission Mission

If you’re like me, you love Moorish architecture and you’re really interested in the historical significance of the Armory. Imagine finally being able to  see inside the same walls that housed the weapons of the U.S. National Guard from 1912-1914! I wonder there’s still evidence of it’s role as a rallying point for the 1934 San Francisco General Strike (an event known as “Bloody Thursday”).

Well Friday is our lucky day because according to flavorpill, there’s a free tour of the Armory! It starts at 4:30pm and it’s an hour long.

(They film people fucking in there too)

Update: Ok, brownpapertickets says it’s sold out. But then again, it’s said that for as long as I can remember and I’ve tried to get the tour several times in the past year. Anyone get a ticket? In the meantime, I’m checking with them to make sure. Stay tuned.

Update 2: NO ARMORY TOUR FOR YOU:

Ever since being written up in the Bay Guardian as the best free tour of an adult entertainment company, we have been inundated wiuth tour requests. We are in fact sold out till Sept of this year. Thank you for your interest.

Clooney’s today made Hidden Host‘s new Worst Places to Take a First Date list. (Kudos, Clooney’s!)

Of the several locations on the list, Clooney’s is the only one in the Mission, which leads us to believe there might’ve been some glaring omissions. Aren’t there worse places in the neighborhood to take a first date than this place?

Photo by generik11.

Previously:

Clooney’s: The Next Hot Bar in the Mission by Kevin Montgomery

Clooney’s: The Next Medjool by Kevin Montgomery

I keep noticing this bit of sidewalk stenciling in front of a house on Valencia between 20th and 21st.

It’s not in S. Pigeon’s “Codes Of The City” guide, so I can only assume that this is the meeting place of an underground club where swingers try out all the latest non-standard sex positions. You heard it here first. Knock on their door and ask for an application if you’re interested. (Don’t really do that)

This, and more lovely DoLoPa (see what I did there?) shots courtesy of Linus Shentu.

Update: I think we’re being virally marketed to: http://hipstergirlsinmustaches.blogspot.com/

The same on February 14th, 2010 (above) as it was on February 14th, 2009. (below)

Tonight is your opportunity to a) support the arts and b) get yourself out of that Valentine’s day hole you’ve dug.

The Poetry Store is featured at Secession gallery’s show opening tonight, enhancing already awesome photos by Armand of Mission Loc@l and Julie of i live here: SF.

Armand + Silvi

Julie + Silvi

Freshly crafted poems in bottles go a long way, guys:

Secession, on Mission between 29th and 30th (across from Safeway). The opening runs from 6:30-9:30.

So you party a little too hard at Debaser and wake up in someone else’s bed, but UH-OH, you forgot that you have that early-morning meeting at Ritual with some venture capitalists who are ready to pump funding into your game-changing gumball machine idea.  While trackstanding at a stoplight, you realize your breath smells like Zeitgeist on porta-potty cleaning day and will only get worse once rinsed with espresso culled from an $11,000 coffee machine (or not).  What to do?

Luckily, your gumball machine game-changer also happens to be exactly what you need in this situation.  Synergy!

The Chewable Toothbrush

‘All in one’ disposable toothbrush and breath freshener.  No toothpaste or water required! For instant results simply place the soft brush in your mouth and chew (see diagrams).  Leaves your whole mouth feeling clean and fresh!  Great anytime after snacks or meals.  Ideal for holidays and travelling.  Not suitable for children under 6 yrs.  DO NOT SWALLOW.

Is anyone surprised to see that this comes from London?

Previously: Start Your Own Mission Empire for $60

photo by Eric Wolfinger - http://ericwolfinger.com/

Move over gamelan! Accordion is the new hotness. Marié Abe plays at Tartine Bakery on Fridays (TONIGHT) from 6-8pm. I don’t even know why I’m bothering to type anything else since after seeing the HOTT picture above I’m sure you have already left this site and you’re totally myspace-stalking the shit out of her.

Marié is from Japan and was April in 2009′s Accordion Babes Calendar. She plays in a ton of groups including the Japonize Elephants, Tango No. 9, and Thorny Brocky. Most of her music is pretty damn heavy and experimental, but at Tartine they keep it a bit more accessible for the baked goods crowd with jazz, Brazilian choros, French musette waltzes, and such. She’ll be joined by Darren Johnson (Nice Guy Trio, Brass Menazeri) and Lisa Mezzacappa. No cover, so tip well.

And if that’s not enough accordion for you, head over to Amnesia from 7-9pm for Rob Reich and Craig Ventresco right afterwards, playing some good old ragtime, blues, and early jazz.

Woman: Where are you from?
Man: Honduras.
Woman: …
Man: You know where that is?
Woman: …
Man: Central America.
Woman: W-w-wamerico?
Man: Central America.
Woman: Wamerico?
Man: AMERICA.
Woman: Mamerico!?
Man: Mm, yes.

Jscinsf submitted this shot from Bryant & 18th:

Over which the following email exchange quickly transpired:

Vic:

Thanks, but that doesn’t even make sense. How do you return a fuck after your done “renting” it? Rentals generally refer to goods, not services. Unless “fuck” refers to a douchey person whom one might call a “fuck” (it’s a stretch), but why would you want to rent one of those? You can just go to the Marina and hang out for a couple of hours and get it gratis. This street artist clearly did not think this through.

Kev:

Ever hear of prostitution?

Kat:

If you’re not gonna give a fuck, you’re not gonna get a fuck, so why not just rent a fuck?  That’s my stance.

For more on “fuck”, there was a documentary film that came out a few years ago that covers the subject quite well.

There, that should settle the question as to whether or not what we do is journalism.

While we’re on the subject of street art, it might interest you that we were contacted by a notable men’s magazine about publicizing their video profile on Dickchicken. We unanimously declined; I think we’ve done enough for Dickchicken. We watched it and he’s a dick. I won’t link it but you can probably find it by googling a magazine that rhymes with “Greyboy”.