Mission Mission

The Denim Maven, one of our favorite tipsters, tells us NYC-based Freeman’s Sporting Club is about to open up its third shop, at 18th and Valencia in the space recently vacated by Amore Animal Supply. From the Freeman’s “about” page:

F.S.C. was established to pay tribute to the vanishing art of American handmade goods, the quality and durability inherent to something made by skilled artisans. These tenets form the foundation on which Freemans Sporting Club is built.

Based on 18th and 19th century sutleries, which were expeditionary general stores that offered the paramount essentials to settlers and soldiers. F.S.C. offers a roughly hewn yet refined reinterpretation of this bygone era, one in which a man’s garments were made to be both functional and long lasting.

Sounds like a good fit for a modernified frontier city like SF!

Note: When I first read “Freeman’s Sporting Club” in the subject of the D. Maven’s email, I was sooo hoping it had something to do with ping pong. Alas.

UPDATE: Jane dug up some better pics than the one above:

These are from their current Lookbook which seems to be based off of Mission Stereotypes. There are many more, but here’s ‘skater/tagger,’ ‘bike messenger’ and my personal favorite ‘yuppie DILF.’ LMAO. These folks already have the Jane seal of approval.

http://www.freemanssportingclub.com/sites/www.freemanssportingclub.com/files/images/TB_FSC_LOOKBOOK_1_0_5.preview.jpg

http://www.freemanssportingclub.com/sites/www.freemanssportingclub.com/files/images/TB_FSC_LOOKBOOK_10.preview.jpg

http://www.freemanssportingclub.com/sites/www.freemanssportingclub.com/files/image

Good work, Jane!

Before I go into the top Mission Mission post of 2010, I’d like to tell a story.

I didn’t have a dog or cat growing up. Instead, my parents got us a pair of hamsters. While these little critters aren’t blessed with the talents of learning tricks, episodic memory, or establishing meaningful relationships with their masters, you can put them in a ball and watch them roll around for a couple of hours of entertainment.

We never named them. One was a shy, chill hamster, and the other one was basically a big asshole. At first the bully beat up on chill guy. Then the chill hamster got pretty big and kept the other one in check. This was a good time that I refer to as the “time of serenity”.

The bully hamster didn’t take to this arrangement and eventually started putting in extra hours on the wheel working out. He got stronger, faster, and meaner. When the time was right, he came back in full force. Thus, “the reign of horror” began. The brutal beatings occurred on an nightly basis, culminating in the bully hamster gnawing off the genitals of the other.

My point is, there are some things that can’t be unseen. A hamster’s disfigured, bloody stump of a crotch is one of them. This year in the Mission, a lady shitting on her house is another.

1. Mission Resident Shits on Her Own Apartment Building

Short story: An anonymous reader caught his upstairs neighbor shitting in the alley of her apartment building.

Long story: When this one showed up in our inbox, we had a lot of questions: Who shits on her own house? Who takes pictures of someone shitting her own house? Did she, you know, wipe? These are important philosophical questions.

Perhaps more baffling than the actual act was the reaction by some of our commenters to the effect of, “Hey! Stop picking on this lady for having a bad day.”

Bad day? I mean, I’ve had to go pretty bad on the road a few times but I’ve always managed to deal with it in a socially acceptable manner. One would think that when you’ve made it to your house, you’ve done the hard part; getting to your bathroom is cake. But I’ll spare you any more, the entire scenario was dissected thoroughly with the 80+ comments here.

Little did we know that this story would captivate San Francisco, even earning us an award for “SF’s Best Photo/Twitpic” in the SF Weekly’s 2010 Web Awards (you can see our fitting reaction at sexpigeon). To use a tired cliche, “only in San Francisco” could a photo of an obeise lady dropping a deuce be considered “the best” of anything.

In the end, I’m not sure what we should take away from this. However, I will say this: we probably need more public bathrooms in the Mission, and less people with high-resolution digital cameras.

Happy new year!

‘Tis the season, I suppose.

[Photo by Penelope Popsicle]

Whoa, the Hyde Street Pier looks pretty fun. Free entry, old boats, epic city views, respite from the shitshow that is the rest of the waterfront (because tourists don’t seem to care about historical maritime stuff so much I guess?). Let’s go!

[Photo by We Built This City]

Even though they both say they didn’t plan this out, I’m still skeptical.  Of course, I suppose there’s always the possibility that Katie and Shannon each could have gotten ready for the night separately while watching that 60s France Gall video starring Sexpigeon and felt similarly inspired.

Previously:

Striped Shirt Boy Has Mass Appeal

Imagine enjoying an Improved Whiskey Cocktail along with a Margherita with Burrata at Beretta when your pal informs you that your motorcycle parked out front was just knocked over by a car.  That’s what happened to this fellow on the right, who immediately came outside to inspect the damage.  The woman on the left had been attempting to exit the above parking spot when she backed into the bike, and wouldn’t have noticed had it not been for the protestations of those waiting outside for a table at the popular establishment.  The following exchange ensued:

Biker: “Oh shit.  Oh shit shit shit.  Ahmm, I’m going to need your information, ma’am.”

Driver: “And I’m going to need your information too.”

Biker: “What?”

Driver:  ”Well, you were parked illegally behind me, and I didn’t see your motorcycle when I tried to back out of this space.”

Biker: “What?”

I didn’t stick around to witness the resolution of the conflict, but I’m certain that you dear readers can weigh in with regard to the logistics of this operation.  You’ve already told us why it’s really bad for scooters to get knocked over, so I can only hope this ended well.

Seriously! You’re all over it! There better not be rivets on your denim! What? Was that a dry heave? OMG get away from my ride!

P.S. Totally kidding. No way would I drive a Honda, or whatever that is.

Nothing major in the picture here, but she had been openly pawing the butt. Not the worst thing in the world, but there were some elderly folk on the platform that looked dismayed. And nothing bums me out like a dismayed old person.

Come on, Eileen, you’re gonna kill somebody. Get with the program.

This week, Mission Mission brings you a recap of the top 5 posts of 2010. Can you guess the number one post of the year?

Hey, I already told you it’s not BART Boner. Is it Details on the American Apparel Hearing (NSFW)? Almost. That was the number one post in terms of traffic. But dude, that is so 2009. American Apparel was already chased out of the Mission by an angry mob who was probably wearing their stuff the whole time. Not that you care, the real reason you looked at that post was the hot pixxx of Sasha Grey when it popped up in Google. That’s ok, we wont tell.

3. San Francisco Has Banksy Fever!

Right before Banksy’s first film “Exit Through the Gift Shop”  premiered across the US, all sorts of Banksyesque street art started popping up in all the major cities including NYC, Detroit, and San Francisco. The Mission was hit a couple of times during this promotional surge at Mission and Sycamore (see above) and Valencia between 19th and 20th above Amnesia.

Initially, there was doubt about whether or not the pieces were authentic. Commenters battled it out while other pieces popped up in Chinatown, North Beach, SoMa, and even Alcatraz. Everyone suddenly thought graffiti was just swell. Camera clutching tourists loitered in the middle of Valencia street. Reports came in that he had a private shopping session Self Edge and had stayed in the Mission for 4 days. So apparently Banksy likes Mexican food, gentrification, and really expensive uncomfortable jeans that you’re not supposed to wash for a year.

Inevitably, the works were augmented, defaced, and mocked by other local street artists. Local business owners saw the tourist potential of keeping the pieces pristine and inadvertently got themselves in the art restoration field. This brought up the tired debate as to what constitutes legitimate street art and petty vandalism. Meanwhile, Banksy watched it all go down from his luxury secret lair and LOL’ed.

Banksy’s film is now on Netflix, by the way, and he insists it’s not a prank.

2. Lady Gaga Causing a Scene at Rosamunde

We’ve had our share of celebrity sightings in the Mission this year. To name a few: Glee lady, Molly Ringwald, Margaret Cho, Dave Chappelle, and Steve Jobs.

The one that topped our charts was Lady Gaga’s unexpected appearance at the new Rosamunde location in the Mission. It started as a rumor, but was pretty much confirmed when pictures and first hand accounts came in. She was allegedly in search of an authentic Mission burrito, but got sidetracked when she saw a sign advertising “sausage”. This amused her enough to stop in, confirming that the pop star is, in fact, a 12 year old boy.

L. Gaga ordered white wine and did not actually stuff a sausage in her mouth. She bullshitted with the staff and admired homemade jewelry for over two hours while being reminded by her bodyguards about her dinner reservation at somewhere fancy. The Rosamunde staff urged her to check out El Farolito for that burrito she craved. With that she left. Perhaps to go to El Farolito where, if it’s anything like Flour and Water, she was told wait in line like everyone else.

Previously:

Top 5 of ’10: #5: Livin’ La Bebida Loca; #4 KKKontroversy