Mission Mission

Hey what do Google, cheese, authentic consumer electronics, and now “fixed gear bicycles” have in common? They are all hard to come by in China.

Poor Nie Zheng (pictured) had to wait his entire life to complete his Mission hipster look:

‘It’s been a dream since I was a kid to get a bicycle like this,’ the 40-year-old fashion photographer told me. ‘But no one sold them here.’ It took nearly nine months, he said, to get a track bike he wanted sent from England in 2007.

Someone throw a benefit show for these guys, already.

(via Slate)

Previously:

Kevmo goes to China

How To Drink From a Bag o’ Brew

We hope it wasn’t anything like when that dick cabbie robbed our friend and left her for dead (allegedly) a couple years back.

In any case, it happened “late last night” and already you’ve printed up this gorgeous banner and had it expertly mounted? You’re a wonder!

Photo by EPA and around the bay.

4505 Meats has a new line of “Spiritual T-Shirts” out and they would like to give you one FOR FREE.

All you have to do is tell us your best meat-related tale in the comments section below.  Maybe you invented the coffee-rubbed pork shoulder. Maybe you traded your wife for a bacon-wrapped hot dog. Maybe a side of beef kilt your paw. Whatever it may be, share it below.

4505 Meats honcho and all-around MEAT CELEBRITY Ryan Farr will be in charge of judging. One winner will be chosen, based on merit, and awarded the t-shirt of his or her choice, in whatever size she or he wants. Contest ends one week from right now.

(Now, we don’t want to discriminate, so if any of you vegetarians or whatever write in with a truly earth-shattering piece about your love of Boca Burgers or Tofu Pups or Buffalo Girls, we will try to at the very least get Ryan to read it all the way through.)

Oh, and if you’d rather just BUY yourself a t-shirt (they’re American Apparel, btw) RIGHT NOW, visit the 4505 Meats Shop.

[P.S. The winner of our previous contest was the guy that saw Radiohead with Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer. Congrats, guy!]

Previously: (some links may not be safe for vegans)

Swine So Fine: I Love Chicharrones

How To Make Cured Rolled Pig Face

Start By Cutting the Rabbit’s Face Off

Our occasional correspondent Sunny Angulo was on the scene for the opening of a new retail shop here in the Mission last week, and today she delivered us a nice big rundown of how it went, and a fabulous photo spread to boot. When I saw it all, I said to her, “I hope Benny kicked you down some free shit,” and she says to me, she says, “Like what? A belt buckle? Fool needs to get some hot lady tees up in there.” (Apparently the shop caters mostly to us dudes.)

Anyway, it’s a nice piece. Thanks, Sunny. Here’s how it starts:

Taco truck: check. Guys taking photos of each other popping ollies out front: check. DJ wearing sunglasses indoors: check. A trunkload of donated Pabst: check. Must be a skate opening. The line started before 10:00 am in the morning and snaked down the block this past Saturday, when Benny Gold brought his youthful message of growing old while still staying gold to the Mission.

Read on:

(more…)

Hops up on a stool, says to the bartender, “Hey, I can talk. You ever seen a talking dog before? Lemme have a gewurztraminer.”

Photo by anthonysanfrancisco.

Some dude tried to mug my friend Tracy last Monday night on the corner of 18th and Mission. She was standing near Yamo waiting to catch the 33 at about 10:30pm. She was checking the bus schedule on her iPhone when she noticed out of the corner of her eye a figure coming toward her in a deliberate fashion. She gripped her phone tighter.

With two hands, the man tried to grab it, but Tracy had it firmly and pulled away. She was repeating, “No,” and looking him in the eye. He looked down at her purse, which she had slung over her shoulder and around her torso, and then back at her face. She waited for him to act. She held her phone tight, and that purse wasn’t going anywhere.

In frustration, the man punched the purse, and walked away.

Tracy thinks that by making eye contact and keeping calm, she freaked the dude out. And she says that if she hadn’t been aware of her surroundings, he might easily have snatched the phone and been gone in a flash.

Here’s something else Tracy was aware of: There were people all around. Lots of people: Waiting for the bus, walking by. There was a woman right behind her talking on her phone. Nobody said or did anything.

The lessons? Always be aware of your surroundings, stay calm, and don’t necessarily count on the kindness of strangers. (Although, it’s possible the presence of all those people might have kept the dude from going to greater lengths to acquire Tracy’s riches. So maybe another lesson is thank goodness Mission sidewalks are always packed with people.)

Photo by GrimReynard.

My buddy Eric found the zine depicted by The Zeit Guide (hrmph, I like my spelling better) on top of a mailbox near his place.  Looks like they’re just getting started, but the zine they uploaded already contains some gems, such as:

HOW TO ORDER A MEAL:

Fast.  And loud.

If you don’t know what he just said, don’t ask him to repeat, just shout yes.  The more trouble for him, the worse the look, and the more questionable the preparation of food.

Don’t hover.  They’ll take longer and yell at you.

More tips for survival can be found here.  Let’s hope that these folks can keep it up!

Previously:

Live Above Zeitgeist!

SFGATE:  Mission Bartenders Are a Bunch of Meanies

A Zeitgeist Sans Smoke

Virginia the Undead Tamale Lady

Could the vultures soon be circling the dessicated carcass of the Mission’s most convenient late-night supermarket?  Inquisitive reader Ann C. expresses her concern:

I was wondering if you guys know anything about the DeLano’s on 23rd and South Van Ness supposedly closing.  I noticed they were missing produce on Monday, and I asked one of the employees if they were remodeling.  He said they were actually supposed to CLOSE THE STORE that day, but it got postponed. 

I want that DeLano’s to stay open!!! It’s convenient and it’s not a Whole Foods.  I even like that it’s not a Safeway because it’s not crowded ever, and the employees that work there are really nice.  Can you guys look into this or something?   One of the checkers told me to contact DeLano’s and try to tell them to keep it open (415-381-6700). 

Has anyone else heard anything about this development?

It wouldn’t be completely unexpected, since supermarkets not named Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s have been having a notoriously rough go of it lately, as evidenced by the recent closure of the Nob Hill Cala Foods, which was replaced by (what else?) condos.  And let’s not forget that this particular South Van Ness location used to be a Cala Foods itself once before (and a Siris long before that, but that’s a whole other story for another time):

It’s difficult to keep up with the cheap produce prices at the myriad corner markets around the neighborhood.  Casa Lucas and the like are tough to beat with that 4 for a dollar avocado special.  I think Duc Loi is still going strong, but they cover a completely different niche.  And Ann herself does admit that the place is never even crowded.

Nonetheless, I would hate to see this place go, especially because the people that work there are soooo nice, and it’s great to have a place to turn when your hectic lifestyle precludes you from going grocery shopping until 1am.

BUMMERZ UPDATE!!!  Commenter Paul Valdez says:

Yes, it is true. Checker, Michelle, told me last weekend that they will close in one week. Too bad. Yes, they were all nice and the Delano family could’ve given that location some ‘attention’…

[Photos by Romleys, who seems to have somewhat of a penchant for supermarket history]

Yesterday (known for the next few days or so as “on Sunday”) I was walking through the hot and sunny neighborhood enjoying the whole thing and I strolled up to the park hoping to run into some friends. When I found them I got excited and I jumped around a bit and did some old fashion tackling-type activity. At some point during this play my iPod fell out of my pocket and into the grass.

That’s a bummer, I thought later, finding an empty pocket, since it’s kind of new and I use it a lot. But maybe I’ll just have to find more creative ways to do things. I was even about to finally give in and buy a cellular phone.

But then, when I got home, I found an e-mail from a stranger who said that she had found my iPod and I should send her my number so I could come pick it up! And I did and I did! I stopped by the home of some dude who was maybe her partner or friend or who cares, but he was so nice and when I handed him some cookies as a thank you he almost didn’t take them. “Well, anyone would have done it,” he said.

But I’m not sure that’s true. Would you?

(illustrative photo by the awesome Potential Past)

P.S. When I was in college I was pick pocketed on the subway at Times Square and got the wallet in the mail a week or two later with my ID still in it. So, maybe I’m too lucky for my own good or maybe people are generally pretty considerate.

Haroldinho spotted this arrangement near Dolores Park. It’s different than the last arrangement we saw, but not too different. Has anyone seen any gnarlier stacks?