Mission Mission

Did you know that stand-up comedy, as we know it, started in San Francisco? It’s true! According to Joe Rogan on Episode 161 of the WTF podcast, anyway. He credits it to when Mark Twain first started giving hilarious speeches filled with wit and biting social commentary around town. Without Mark Twain, no Gallagher. Think about that.

Anyways, the other day I passed by Mission comedian Chris Garcia in the street, jumped in front of him, and blurted out, “CHRIS GARCIA!”. After this, I had no follow up other than a crazy wild-eyed stare. He looked at me a bit terrified. I followed up with, “Umm, yeah, sorry. I’m Vic from Mission Mission.”  He was like, “Oh hey! You should come to the Business this week. It’s our 2-year birthday.”

The Business is a weekly comedy showcase at the Dark Room featuring Chris, Sean Keane, Alex Koll, and Bucky Sinister. They also feature out-of-town comedians passing through.Why not take part in the rich history of San Francisco comedy and check them out tonight? The show starts at 8pm. Here is the event page.

Also, Chris Garcia (as Dr. 4:20) wishes you a happy day:

More congrats to Johnny0 (aka Burrito Justice), who single-handedly named a neighborhood using only his imagination and a series of tubes. This takes some serious chops. I should know, as I was totally unsuccessful in my attempts to coin “Civic Valley“.

In the latest installment of this saga, the SF Examiner took an interest in this story and wrote it up. They declare:

So welcome to La Lengua, the Mission district-Bernal Heights microhood that needed a name. Yes, that’s right, it’s Spanish for “the Tongue,” a reference to the district’s shape, its preponderance of eateries serving tongue meat and the active imagination of the dude behind the Burrito Justice blog.

Perhaps most chilling, to me at least, was the closing line:

“I wouldn’t say it’s a hipster thing,” Johnny0 said. “I think it’s what happens when hipsters grow up and have kids … they come and live in La Lengua.”

The first time I met Johnny0, I invited him to brunch the next day. He said he was busy doing dad stuff. Then he said sorta waved his fingers in front of me and said in a spooky voice, “I am your fuuuuuture!”

This has haunted me ever since.

[via the Examiner]

La Vallarta tacos just got a 17% price increase. That means 25 cents, non-math-dude. Up to $1.75 from $1.50.

The title of best tacos in town, in my humble opinion, goes to Taqueria la Vallarta. I have sung praises about these tacos and even admired their surrealist psychedelic mural here before. But last week I walked up to the register with a trio of meat-topped, lard-dipped tortillas and the total came to $5.25. All seven stages of grief occurred in a flash:

1. Shock – WTF? The five dollar bill in my hand can’t cover this!

2. Pain – Is this the end of an era? Has the economy finally caught up with the Mission’s last cheap meal? Is California, indeed, a failed state?

3. Anger & Bargaining – Señor, I assure you this is the first I have heard of this. This is unfair. You should have a sign up, or something. How about I skip the grilled onion, take one less radish and lime wedge, give you $5, and we call it even.

5. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness – Will this be my last taco? Maybe I need to eat more healthy. Say, I haven’t been on a date in a while. I think I have an overbearing mother.

6. The Upward Turn – Hey, looks like I have an extra quarter in my pocket that I was saving for my laundry change jar.

7. Acceptance & Hope – You know what? You guys deserve it. I have dreams about these tacos. I hope my humble contribution brings you riches, sir. ¡Viva la Vallarta!

Seriously, though. They deserve it. But, bummer.

[photo by mioi]

There’s my Chippy!

In case you don’t know WTF I’m talking about:

Actually, if you haven’t seen the show, you probably still don’t know WTF I’m talking about.

[Snapped at the former $-store at Mission & 18th by Cranky Old Mission Guy]

Muralists Jet Martinez, Bunnie Reiss and Ezra Eismont have recreated the ancient and hidden Ohlone mural of Mission Dolores. In case you missed the kickstarter campaign (and it looks like most of you did), a hidden mural was uncovered behind the church altar by Ben Wood and Eric Blind in 2004. It was painted by Ohlone Indians under the captivity guidance of Spanish missionaries in 1791.

The new piece resides at 22nd and Bartlett on the Mission Market building and will be unveiled tonight during the opening night of Mission Community Market, a not-a-farmer’s-market farmer’s market in the Mission. Stop by from 4-8pm for the festivities, music, food, and a pre-requisite David Campos appearance.

Deal of the year R Image Market!

What? I’m not even joking. If you think this is funny then go back to Sonoma, snob.

[via vicwomg, me me me]

The listing doesn’t seem to want to post the real name, defaulting to “Landmark Nightclub/Restaurant & Hostel,” but looks like Medjool bar is for sale.

For a cool $7.25 million, it could be yours to do as you please. Maybe you could help it fulfill it’s Yelp destiny as an “intimate” “hipster” bar by putting in some old couches from Cloyne Court, serving Hamm’s, and having an in-house rare 45s soul DJ. Or you can continue it’s tradition of being the only spot with a rooftop bar and the butt of everyone’s transplant Marina douchebag jokes, despite never actually having been there (guilty, here!).

The owner, Gus Murad, also recently put the neighboring Giant Value dollar-and-up-store up for sale, but is hanging on to the New Mission Theater for now. Is this the end of an empire?

[via CurbedSF]

DocPop snapped this stunner of a shot this morning. Following the path of that ‘bow, I can surmise that the pot of gold is at Thieves Tavern. You heard it here first… just give us a cut, okay? If there’s no gold, at least you can cash in on that $5 Tall PBR + Jameson earlybird special, which is pretty much the same thing.

Filmmaker Justin Gallagher’s 2011 Demo Reel features some pretty shots of the Mission, tilt-shifting, epic scoring, and some nice shots of TCB Couriers on bikes that may or may not be “fixies”. Hire him, already.

Every month we take a walk down memory lane with Mission Mission posts from years past. Yeah, we were supposed to do this on April 1st, but we were too busy posting unfunny April fools pranks. Sorry.

2010

• Son, you don’t know how good you have it. There are old dudes in China who can’t even get fixies. Now master that skid stop or go to your room.
• Some dude tried to undersell the Cold Beer Cold Water man, and was never seen since. Did CBCW order a hit on him?

2009

• Scantly-clad midday walk of shame babe gets Mission Mission the most hits of all time and oh why bother saying anything else, you already clicked this link, pervo.
• Just like a TV, never try to give away a pig’s head on the street unless you want it to get tagged.

2008

• El Toro’s exterior was renovated and we were like, “woah, that looks weird,” but now we’re all, “wait, what did it look like before?”
• One of our writers actually used to hang out at Medjool and complain about all the douchebags, but that apparently didn’t stop her from going there, like, all the time.

2007

• Nothing happened in the Mission in April of 2007. My theory is that the neighborhood entered a cosmic wormhole and stopped existing for a month. Where is Carl Sagan when you need him?